On this Monday after the Super Bowl, I would like to offer my sincere congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks for their League Championship win yesterday. I would like to, but I can’t—since my Seahawks were not in this year’s bigly game. ‘Scuse me while I sob about it for two whole seconds. Oh, well. There’s always next year. Go next year, Seahawks!
Candy conversation hearts Tie o’ Valentine’s Day is joined by my Suzanne-sewn pink hearts Cape o’ the Day. As far as love itself goes, I say, “Go bigly, or go home!” If you’re not willing to put in the effort that love of any type requires, don’t even attempt to get involved in it. If you aren’t in it for the long-haul, you’ll surely end up inadvertently hurting people who don’t deserve it. And you will just as certainly end up dooming yourself to regrets. Once embarked upon, love is a deepening and complication of every decision you will make thereafter. If you’re loving another person properly, you’re always juggling your own goals, feelings, needs, and wants with those of someone else. To keep a relationship alive, you must nurture the closeness between you and your beloved, while at the same time maintaining clearly defined boundaries that keep your own soul free, independent, and accountable. That nugget of wisdom is as true for loving your companion, as it is for loving your kid, your parent, or your neighbor. Maybe even your football team.
Loving someone is a wondrous task. It demands work. It requires regular attention and ever-evolving interpersonal skills. It requires selfless passion and pointed self-reflection. It also requires unending resilience, because no matter how much you care and how hard you work at a relationship, you will sometimes get hurt—as certainly as you will cause pain to whoever you love. When human beings are involved in an endeavor, pain and loss are inevitable. The distress that comes out of plain old human imperfection can be intentional or unintentional (It’s mostly unintentional, from what I’ve observed)—but if you love somebody, you will experience it from both sides. Remember: you are perfectly you, but you are not perfect. Let me yell that thought boldly, so you don’t miss it: YOU ARE NOT PERFECT! No one is, so it’s a good idea to always love with a dollop of forgiveness handy. Continue to love onward, with your trusty shield of resilience at the ready. Resilience won’t keep you safe from the pangs of loving, but it will help you survive pain like the Adult of God you are likely trying so hard to become. 💝 ❣️