When I was a kid, I used to play board games with some older kids in the neighborhood. As the youngest kid by a few years, I was usually the first one to lose at Monopoly. It was like that for what seemed to me like decades, but it was probably for only one or two summers. For me, the neighborhood board games ended when—for the first time ever—I won at Monopoly. My astonished glee at finally winning the game came to an abrupt end, when a certain little boy who didn’t win started to cry and called me a cheater. Plus, I was a girl cheater, too! And a little girl couldn’t possibly beat all the boys at Monopoly! This new winning stuff was no fun for me at all. I wanted to go back to losing and having an uncontested ball. Heck, I was so young that I didn’t even know how to cheat successfully—especially with a handful of snot-nosed neighbor boys right beside me in the room, playing and watching every move of the game unfold. I think it was my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless who clued me in later that day about the fragile egos of sore losers who think they always deserve to be the winner, especially when you clearly beat them. I remember thinking I better be sure to play and win at board games with whoever I dated when I grew up, so I could make sure I didn’t marry a sore loser. I can testify that what I refer to as The Board-Game-Always-Unmasks-A-Sore-Loser Test really works.
With this childhood anecdote in mind, patriotic Tie o’ the Day and I will make one, two-part prediction before the polls close on this Election Day: A few Republican candidates who lose their races tonight will claim they lost because of voter fraud/stolen election crapola, which will fail to explain how other Republican candidates who did win their races, won fairly. On the other hand, zero Democrats who lose their races will whine about a stolen election. Regarding all candidates and voters in any contested race, I have a thought for us all to gnaw on: If you accept the results of an election only when your chosen “team” wins, you are saying you do not believe in or cherish the democracy our Constitutional Republic makes possible for all of its citizens. Just sayin.’
