Month: July 2022

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Skitter Chilled Out Bigly

A few months ago, I posted about reconnecting with one of my college pals from way back in the 80’s. Since then, I’ve visited Jane a few times and, so far, we still seem to have plenty to talk about. We seem to be able to make each other think, and we still make each other laugh. Earlier this week, I took Skitter with me to Jane’s for one of our gabfests. Skitter wore her lemons Tie o’ the Day for the occasion.

Now, you know Skitter is afraid of every new person and every new place and every new thing. She shivers and vibrates in fear of each new noun she encounters: she’s skittish. I know Jane has two cats, and I wasn’t sure Skitter could handle being around the critters, so I anticipated I might have to leave her in the car with AC running while I socialized. I thought of all the possible Skitter-skeered outcomes, so I was prepared to improvise. When we arrived, I laid out one of Skitter’s blankets on the floor by the chair I was sitting in, so she would know where her place was in this environment which was foreign to her. However, Skitter was not having any part of staying on her blanket on the floor.

Skitter didn’t vibrate, pulsate, oscillate, or tintinnabulate. Skitter simply and nonchalantly jumped up on the couch, cuddled up to Jane, and stayed by her side the entire visit. Since then, my lower dentures have almost fallen out of my mouth on multiple occasions whenever I contemplate the whole affair—because my jaw is still dropping in amazement about Skitter’s chill behavior at Jane’s. Skitter has never acted comfortable anywhere but in our house, and sometimes she barely acts comfortable here. Skitter jumping up on Jane’s couch and making herself at home was Skitter maturing before my very eyes. I was both shocked and impressed by Skitter’s poise and determination. In fact, the Skit acted as if Jane was her old friend, not mine, and I was the newcomer to the group. It was an unbelievable hours-long event, and Suzanne still doesn’t believe it really happened. Skitter is clearly living proof that old dogs can, in fact, learn new tricks. It was fortunate that Jane was just fine with the mutt-glued-to-her-hip situation Skitter put her in.

FYI The cats ended up not being a factor in Skitter’s adventure during our visit. They stayed away from where we were conversating, for the most part. Skitter saw one of the cats a few times, but she paid it no mind. Maybe they’ll try to interact during a future play-date.

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The Dame

I often mention that I have had a lifelong love affair with words. They fascinate me. One-syllable words have no less charm than lengthier five-syllable words. They all matter. As I began to compose this post, the word “delightful” came to mind. It’s not a word I regularly use, although nothing is wrong with it. I simply don’t inhabit the world of feelings I would describe as “delightful.” But I can only describe yesterday as utterly delightful. Suzanne and Skitter and I trekked to Delta to spend some time with Big Helen, who seems to have shrunk just a bit more each time I hug her.

I wore my new honeycomb golf shirt, and Mom recognized what it was immediately. Dad was the beekeeper in the family, but Mom lived the bee life right beside him every step of the way. She knew a full comb of honey was not only delicious, but it bought school clothes and made car payments. We wished Mom a happy 74th Anniversary, and she wondered why Dad had to leave her. I reminded her he’s waiting, probably impatiently, for her to meet up with him when she decides she’s ready.

Mom wore her royal purple housecoat, and kept showing us how her ring matched it. She was so surprised at the fact that she matched. She knows it’s a rare thing. She and I share a penchant for mismatching in ways that make sense only to us. To match is nothing short of a miraculous oversight. For me, matching is also somewhat painful to my sensibilities. Mom can blithely relish it when it happens. I mentioned to Mom how the royal appearance of her purple housecoat and purple ring stone would surely capture the attention of every person who sees them, she said, “Well, I’ll just start to bow to them all.” And then she thought a minute, and said, “No. I’ll make the people bow to me.” That’s my mother, in a nutshell.

I took the pictures of Mom’s hands because her hands are amazing. Think about how many pints of peaches and pears those hands have bottled. I can’t begin to count the quilts her hands made over the decades. Potato salads, batches of toffee, pans of candied popcorn. And batches of cookies as far as the mind’s taste buds can remember. As I examined her hands yesterday, Mom said they looked “curdled.” It was an elegant and poetic description. Mom has a gift for language too.

As we escorted Mom to lunch, Terry—one of Mom’s fave nurses—passed us in the hall. We chatted briefly. And suddenly, Terry started dancing, and then she got Mom dancing along. I can’t explain how it happened, but it did. Terry then went on her way, and Suzanne and Skitter and I continued walking Mom to her lunch table. As we left Mom, I couldn’t get her happy dancing out of my mind. Mom not only dances at Millard Care and Rehab, but she never dances alone.

BTW I wore my Wonder Woman socks to visit Mom, my own personal Wonder Woman. The Minions Bow Tie o’ the Day is a trip.

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My, What A Bigly Bow Tie Hat O’ The Day, I Have

Voting is so fundamental to the health of our representative democracy that it should be easily accessible for all eligible voters. We shouldn’t encourage only certain kinds of citizens to vote, while making voting a hardship for other citizens who are usually already under-represented in public life. The higher the percentage of eligible voters who vote, the more protected every American’s rights will be. 🇺🇸 End of civics lecture.

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Ah, Honey, Honey

Bees Tie o’ the Day is a fitting accessory to my new honeycomb Shirt o’ the Day. I grew up playing around bees. The fact that in my late teens I developed an allergy to bee stings did not diminish my admiration for the buzzing insects that paid my family’s bills, nor did my allergy quell my taste for occasionally grabbing a frame of comb from a hive and barehandedly pulling out a chunk of the honey-filled wax to gnaw on. I still maintain that honey-filled comb straight out of the hive is the most succulent honey you can possibly eat. However, I do not recommend that you simply go find a beehive and stick your hand in to get a taste. No, that’s a recipe for a thousand bee stings to the body of any untrained honey thief. If you decide to try it anyway, please let me know the “where” and the “when” you’ll be attempting the daring feat, because I would love to be there to watch when you end up screaming like a toddler as you run crazily from an angry cloud of bees you will not be able to shake. I will, of course, kindly call the ambulance for you as I watch you spasm with each new sting, in your failed honey thievery. 🐝

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But They Didn’t Play My Fave Song. Again.

Almost three years ago, we bought tickets to see The Lumineers in concert at the Maverik Center. The performance was originally scheduled for August of 2020, but then the pandemic hit and the concert was postponed. And then it was postponed a second time. We held onto our tickets until last night, when the show finally happened and we got to experience the Lumineers right here in Utah. (We had previously seen the band in Nashville, on our last trip before the pandemic speed bump.) The Lumineers song that most speaks to me is “In The Light,” which they didn’t play at either of the two concerts we’ve attended. I can forgive that oversight on the band’s part, because both shows were fantastic in every other way. And another reason I can forgive the Lumineers for not singing “In The Light” is because I fully recognize that I am not the center of this universe—or any other—and my every wish doesn’t need to be fulfilled by musical strangers who don’t even have a clue who I am, in order for me to have a good time at a concert.

We did have one unhappy camper in our crowd last night. The Saddle Purse was with me when we left the parking lot to walk to the Maverik Center, but before we had walked very far, Suzanne and I spied the signs telling us NO BAGS ALLOWED IN THE VENUE. I had to walk the Saddle Purse and Suzanne’s purse back to the car and put them to bed early for the night. The Saddle Purse was crushed to have to miss the concert. We had been building up the event for almost three years, after all. I owe my Saddle Purse, big-time. 👜

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Skitter Has Her Favorite Neckwear, Too

I’m no fool: Skitter’s devotion to me has more to do with her love for my Batman wood Bow Tie o’ the Day than anything to do with me personally. I don’t mind, though. A dog kiss is still a dog kiss, with all its salty stinky charm. Secret of Life #38: Never say “no” to a dog kiss. 🐶 💋

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The Business Side O’ Living

We use infrastructure like bridges and roads and water pipes daily, and we usually do it without giving these things a second thought. We just expect these things to work effectively and safely, whenever we need to use them. Of course, infrastructure needs continual planning and vigilant maintenance, which is what allows us to not have to think about it. We’re kind of spoiled like that, as we should be. If we approach a bridge while we are driving, we are generally safe to assume it’s not going to come crashing down if we drive across it. There are people whose job it is to look out for us when it comes to stuff we routinely use. If everybody does their job correctly, things go smoothly and we don’t even notice.

Likewise, there’s plenty of metaphorical infrastructure to plan and take care of as we go about our lives. We have to make plans for “in case” or “when”—as in, “in case one of us has to go to a care center,” or “when one of us dies.” Yes, we spent the afternoon meeting with an attorney to do our estate planning. It’s not a glamorous task, but it is a kind of infrastructure that needs to be set up to make sure your money and material things do what you need them to do, as well as what you want them to do. (We even signed up our dead bodies to go to the University of Utah for research.) I don’t want relatives fighting over who gets my ties and bow ties. And Suzanne doesn’t want anyone arguing over who gets her towering stacks o’ fabric. We certainly don’t want to leave all the decisions for Rowan to manage, so we’ll make the decisions and get them all in writing. If we’ve planned the documents correctly, when we die things will go so smoothly that nobody will even know we’re gone. 🤡 ⚰️ ⚰️

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As Ren And Stimpy Say, “Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy!”

Just when I had given up on the 2022 Maverick I ordered back in November, it appears I’m actually going to get the truck I’ve been pining for and whining about to y’all since the minute I ordered it. Ford emailed me a few minutes ago, saying the Maverick is finally scheduled to be built during the first week of August! Ford even sent me the truck’s Vehicle Identification Number (VIN), which makes me super confident my truck is officially about to be born! Yahoo! Please excuse me now while I tell Alexa to play disco music so I can dance my celebratory jigs around the living room for the rest of the afternoon, gliding and gushing with apocalyptic vehicular joy! 🎉 💃 🕺 ⛽️

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We Have A New Neighbor

The Tie Room was buzzing this morning. In case you don’t already know, ties and bow ties have a sense of smell that rivals the power of canine noses: they can smell a neighborhood newcomer long before I know exactly what’s going on. The bigly news on the block this week is the grand opening of Banbury Cross Donuts’ second location, on our very own city block here in Centerville. Decades ago, when Banbury Cross opened its first store in SLC, it was my go-to for morning meeting bribery. If I wanted my fellow writing teachers at the University of Utah to begin their day feeling appreciated and maybe a tad bit spoiled—like the education warriors they were—I made a trip to Banbury Cross for a dozen scrumptious donuts before heading to my office on campus. The donut box was empty almost before I set it down on my desk.

The same would have been true if I had walked in with three boxes. The word of the new store is already out. I arrived at the new Banbury Cross Donuts store at 6:00 AM, it’s scheduled time to open. There were already eight customers in line ahead of me, and by the time I had paid for my dozen donuts and was walking out the door, there were at least twenty customers waiting in line. This location is a nook-and-cranny spot, difficult to see and get to, but the Banbury Cross Donuts name clearly has the reputation to draw out the Davis County donut lovers.

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The Saddle Purse Went To A Movie With Us

We hadn’t been out to a movie for quite a while, until yesterday when we saw the documentary, GABBY GIFFORDS WON’T BACK DOWN. You might remember that Giffords—a Congresswoman from Arizona—was the target of an assassination attempt in January of 2011. It happened at a meet-and-greet outside a grocery store, where Giffords was meeting with constituents who wanted to speak to their representative. 6 people were killed that day, and 13 more were wounded. Giffords was shot in the head. Even as some news reports incorrectly claimed she was dead, she fought to stay alive. This documentary is primarily about her complicated recovery, from Day 1 to now. You can see her grit, grief, and humor throughout all the stages of her rehab, even when she could barely communicate. Yes, there are some gun politics in the film, but not much. She is a life-long gun owner, as well as the victim of a mass murderer with a gun, so it makes sense that she has something to say on the subject. We ought to at least listen. But again, the bulk of the film is about her long recovery. She is still partially paralyzed, and it takes Giffords great effort to speak. Singing has seemed to come easier to her than speaking. Her mind is still sharp, but often her brain won’t let her say the words she’s thinking. She has also lost about 50% of her vision in both eyes. And still, she sings! I recommend the movie to anyone who wants to witness an indomitable person right while they’re being indomitable. If you need a pick-me-up, this is it. If you don’t need a pick-me-up, you’ll still be glad you saw it.

BTW We had the theater to ourselves, at least until the movie started. Look closely to see the Saddle Purse hanging around. Suzanne is eating popcorn, and I am wearing my caped Superman Socks o’ the Day. We reclined the entire movie.