Month: January 2021

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Pop The Cork! It’s TIE O’ THE DAY’s 2,000th Post!

www.tie-o-the-day.com has been in existence almost four years. This post marks the 2,000th episode of my neckwear musings on the website. Balloons-and-confetti Bow Tie o’ the Day is bustin’ out the non-booze to celebrate.

Before it was a tblog (short for “tie blog,” according to me), TIE O’ THE DAY existed for a couple of years as a twice-daily group text to a dozen or so friends and family members. Compared to the bipolar-tinged poetry which I consider my real writing, and on which I spend most of my writing time and energy, I wanted/needed a place to write something sort of casual. And I also wanted a venue in which to share my decades-in-the-making neckwear collection with others. TIE O’ THE DAY seemed like a way for me to accomplish both. So far, I think it has been a good fit.

TIE O’ THE DAY is a project that is still evolving. It is part memoir, part tall tale, part comedy, part clash-fashion show, part hard-won wisdom, and part things I haven’t even considered yet—all somehow inspired by, or enhanced by, my ties and bow ties of many ilks.

I like usually not knowing exactly what TIE O’ THE DAY is going to be, from post to post. Often, when I sit down to create a post, I have no idea what I’m going to write. I’ll stare at the photo I snapped after I first got dressed in the morning, and then I begin to type. Sometimes, the text is lengthy. Sometimes, it’s only a handful of words. Usually, there’s at least a tiny chuckle or a nugget for contemplation to be found inside the writing. I thank you, folks, for continuing to tune-in to gawk at the groovy neckwear, and to read the words that tumble out of my wild head. Above all, my friends, I do hope you never feel like a post is a waste of your time and attention.

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This Face Mask Makes Me Dizzy

I went to bed very late last night. I opened my eyes at 4 AM, wide awake. And promptly at 7, when Suzanne was leaving for work, I fell asleep on the love seat. Now it’s almost 10 AM, and I’m throwing this quickie post on TIE O’ THE DAY. Swimming suit Bow Tie o’ the Day expresses my feelings best: I’m ready for summer. And probably another nap today, to be honest.

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A Broken-hearted Tie o’ the Day

This is how I feel about today’s disruption of the ceremonial counting of the 2020 electoral votes at the U. S. Capitol—a requirement of the United States Constitution. Not only has the Constitutional business of the People been disrupted, but the bullying trespass into the Capitol has been an embarrassing spectacle, at about the same maturity level as guileless brats breaking into a church to take narcissistic selfies as they destroy sacred property—for no other reason than to post their self-absorbed and destructive actions for all to see.

The saddest thing about today’s dangerous undermining of American Democracy is that I fully expected it was going to happen. Bad behavior is apparently the new normal, even when it comes to what the Constitution demands.

I believe in the power that passionate, safe, well-planned, and well-disciplined protests can have for the common good of the People. But the undertaking today didn’t have a single redeeming characteristic. In fact, it made America appear weak and unhinged. I can’t stop crying.

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B-r-r-r-r! And I Don’t Mean Raymond.

I could not get warm this morning, no matter how high I jacked up the heat. 2 pajama bottoms under my cargo pants, 1 t-shirt, 1 sweatshirt, 4 sweaters, 1 coat, and 1 flannel Tie o’ the Day later, I was beginning to feel some warmth. Of course, it was a good thing I was holding my photo clicker in my hand, so I could take the picture—because, just like Ralphie’s dressed-for-the-cold little brother in A CHRISTMAS STORY, I could neither bend my arms nor put them down to my sides. It was my only defense. To the cold, I mean.

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Pandemic Hair And Nostalgia

I got out my going-to-Miss-Tiffany’s-to-get-my-hairs-cut Tie o’ the Day this morning. However, when I called to alert Miss Tiffany I’d be showing up if she had time for me and my head hairs today, I was informed that she had the day off. Oh, well. I was okay with having to re-arrange how I had planned my day to play out, but I didn’t want my hairs-cuttin’ scissors tie to feel disappointed it wouldn’t get to be in this afternoon’s post, so I dug through a box to find some old hairs photos for Tie to pose with.

Here are front and back pix of me and Rowan from 2009, inside the front door of our house in Ogden. We happened to both be growing out our hairs at about the same time then. When we finally had our head hairs chopped off later that year, we donated our locks to make wigs for cancer patients.

Rowan’s teacher in 2009, at Hillcrest Elementary, was Mrs. Cameron. Rowan wasn’t much of a school terror that year, so I only met Mrs. Cameron once, in passing, at a school event. She seemed pleasant enough, and she was a tremendous influence on Rowan at the time. We heard plenty of Mrs. Cameron stories from Rowan around the dinner table—none of which I can remember now. Flash forward to last year at about this time. My sister, BT/Mercedes, sent me a heartbroken text about one of her long-time friends dying suddenly of pancreatic cancer. BT said the woman was smart, and kind, and generous right down to her toes. According to BT, her friend was a genuinely good-hearted being. BT said she had been a teacher in Ogden schools, and her name was Jeanne Cameron.

I did some fact-checking with Suzanne and realized Rowan’s incredible 6th Grade teacher and my sister’s incredible friend were one and the same person. You know how I am about connections and coincidences—and what we are supposed to learn from them. This woman was important in my sister’s life for decades, and this woman was a significant player in Rowan’s life for only one key year. It wasn’t until ten years after Rowan was done with 6th Grade—and Mrs. Cameron had just passed away—that BT and I accidentally stumbled upon the coincidence. Does this tiny connection mean something bigly and specific about the universe? Probably not. On the other hand, I think it is—at the very least—a reminder that we are likely the constant beneficiaries of the work of “strangers” who are connected to us in ways we will likely never know. That is yet another reason we should be civil to people, whether we know them or not.

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My Little Reader Mutt, My Partner In Tie Crime

Actually, this is Skitter’s way of cheese-ily “closing the book” on the holiday neckwear. If I’ve looked through the last couple of weeks of photos correctly, this is the absolutely very final Christmas tie o’ 2020 you will see on me or Skitter until next December. I think.

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A Pandemic Birthday Party In The Birthday Boy’s Garage

I posted last week that my very first brother-in-law, Kent, was turning the bigly 70-damn-5. Here are a few pix of our brief visit to give him our eternal regards for joining the family in 1967, and for staying in the family for the duration. From then, until now, Kent has always hit our funny bones with his up-beat brand of cleverosity. His wisdom shows up wrapped in humor, as well. And his heart is wide open.

On Kent’s birthday, we threw The Skit in the car and drove up to his and BT’s abode in Pleasant View, where a day-long drive-by of honking horns bleated their birthday wishes to our Kent. We actually stopped in to hang for a little while in their garage, which was set up with socializing at pandemically social distances in mind. The libation served to birthday revelers was sparkling cider in the grooviest teensy bottles. A bigly and tall heater spread the heat. The present we gave Kent was one of Mom’s old HELEN W license plates, in honor of him christening all of Mom’s cars with the same title of “the Helenmobile,” probably starting as far back as the 70’s. I will not lie: We stole a masked hug or two from Nuk and Mercedes before we left.

I wore my lighted turkey hat for the occasion, as well as a holiday Tie o’ the Day covered in portraits of polar bears, Santa, and snowmen. Skitter’s Tie o’ the Day is an authentic mystery, and we’re open to any guesses you might have as to what the “thing” on Skitter’s tie is supposed to be. It appears to have a sort of snowman head. It has what might be strings of lights wrapped around its Christmas tree-like “body.” I think it might be a dinosaur of some kind, or maybe Godzilla. It does have a tail. Is it holding a baby who’s wearing a black hat? Seriously, what is this creature? Is it an icon from some cult? Is it a mascot for an octuple-A baseball team nobody’s ever heard of? I feel like I’m missing the punchline to a joke. Whatever it is, I like it cuz Skitter likes it.

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Better Than Christmas Morning

Suzanne and I had some Christmas presents to deliver to Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette—and Gracie, too—so we drove to Provo a few days after Christmas, when the season had settled down for everyone. We and our Face Masks o’ the Day were treated to an hour of good—though mildly muffled—conversation with Gracie’s parents, and a live performance of The Gracie Show.

Skitter visited the Blackwelder’s with us. It was the first time Skitter and Grace had met, and their encounter was a success. Gracie was enamored with the mutt, and Skitter was willing to let Amazing Grace shower her with up-close, pokey, hands-on attention that only a kid can give. Skitter basked in it. In fact, I didn’t ever see Skitter vibrate around Grace. Well, I guess that’s not quite true. Gracie has a slide in her room, on which she performed amusing tricks for us. Skitter begged me to let her go down the slide a few times to impress The Divine Miss Grace. Of course, I helped Skitter be brave to accomplish the scary feat. Let me tell you, Skitter vibrated all the way down the slide three times, much to Gracie’s delight.

Bishopette Collette later texted that Grace talked about Skitter long after we had gone home. When Skitter heard that, she asked me to teach her to wink. She wanted me to snap a photo of her winking to send to Gracie, and said photo is included here.

BTW Holiday Tie o’ the Day was a hit with Grace. I showed Gracie how to turn on the reindeer’s flashing red nose and Christmas music by pushing the fire flames on the tie. She pushed it as many times as you’d expect a toddler to push a button that turned on a flashing red light and Christmas music. The battery was dead by the time we left. I loved every minute of the visit.

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My New Year’s Eve Attire

I did dress up a tad formally for our pandemic New Year’s party at home—with no guests. But I walked around the house in my minimally formal finery for only as long as it took for me to snap this photo of me and my three holiday Bow Ties o’ the Last Day o’ 2020. The best thing about 2020 was being able to spend so many days in pajamas.

#wearthedangmask #masksareourlifesavingfriends #dontfearthedangmask #wearingamaskdoesnottakeawayyourcivilrights #wearingamaskhelpsusstayalivetoenjoyourcivilrights #wearingamaskhelpsthepeoplearoundyounotdiefromthecoronavirusyoumightbeinfectedwithwithoutevenknowingyouhaveit

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Holiday Posts Inventory

Drum roll, please!

Helen’s bigly Holiday Tie Tally: 209 Neckties. 93 Bow Ties. (In a few upcoming photos you will see me and Skitter in more holiday ties. They were snapped over the holidays, but I have already included the neckwear in this final tally.)

Helen’s Holiday Face Mask Tally: 9. (I didn’t make much of an investment in Christmas face masks, cuz I hope we won’t be needing them next X-mas season.)

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 25 Neckties. 1 Bow Tie.

Here’s the rest of what I utilized to bring y’all TIE O’ THE DAY’s jolly neckwear o’ 2020: 2 leg lamps. 3 Charlie Brown Christmas trees. 1 Old Man bobblehead. 1 Ralphie bobblehead. 5 festive jackets. 4 X-mas-themed, button-down shirts. 1 lighted antler headband. 1 Santa hat. 1 Bah Humbug hat. 1 Santa baseball cap. 1 lighted turkey hat. 1 pair of Grinch pajama bottoms. 3 pairs of obnoxious X-mas leggings. 1 ugly sweater. 3 “ugly sweater”-style, long-sleeved t-shirts. 1 gingerbread person t-shirt. 1 redneck elf t-shirt. 1, 3-D turkey necktie. 1 bow tie body thong. 1 red-nosed reindeer body thong. 1 blow-up Santa beard. AND most importantly, 2 milkweed pod, Nativity scene Christmas tree ornaments made by my grandma, Momo, at least 50 years ago.

Whew! This has been an exhausting blast!