I was minding my own business watching Judge Judy, like I always do, when in comes the defendant, wearing what I call MY purple pimp jacket. I ran up the stairs to make sure the purple pimp jacket was still in my closet, and it was. When I knew my pimp jacket was safe and secure, and that this dude hadn’t burglarized my house to take it, I plopped back down in front of the television. I couldn’t help but cheer for the dapperly dressed man as he tried to explain his way out of the shenanigans that made him end up as a defendant on Judge Judy. Alas! He was shady, through-and-through. Even the bolo tie couldn’t save him. I felt especially bad for his jacket. It hadn’t been adopted into a good home like mine, clearly.
Anyhoo… The guilty dude has a swell jacket just like mine, but he has neither my Prince-Albert-in-a-can Bow Tie o’ the Day, nor does he have my 2002 Funeral Potatoes Olympic pin that I so proudly display here in my purple pimp jacket’s lapel. I win.
My Hat o’ the Day is from a real place: Toad Suck, Arkansas—from one of our travel adventures about 18 months ago. We had a splendid time in Arkansas, and I honor the name of this place with a couple of hats, as is my touristy way. I wear the hat today as a symbol of how I feel about my day’s bigly household chore, because the chore kinda sucks. When I have occasion to do so, I vacuum and clean the couch and love seat. But the best vacuums in the world—pet vacuums, included—cannot suck up the Skitter fur that somehow gets caught in the furniture’s seams. My mission today—if I choose to accept it, and I do—is to tweeze the trapped fur from the seams of the living room furniture. Yes, I pluck my eyebrows AND my furniture—with different sets of tweezers, of course. As Glen Campbell and I always sing, “Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife…”🤡
FYI Bolo Tie o’ the Day is a good choice to wear when cleaning. It saves the “real” neckwear from possibly being harmed in the course of housework—while still allowing me to wear my signature clothing item.
I came home from the dry cleaner’s and found Bernie Sanders levitating and guarding this rack o’ Ties o’ the Day for me. Thanks, Bernie, for keeping the citizens of the Tie Room safe against all enemies, foreign or domestic.😎
Here’s a picture of me actually calling Mom yesterday. Well, I didn’t really wear the face mask, but I thought it clashed nicely with my outfit as a whole, so I wore it for the photo. And, to be honest, I didn’t really call Mom on this obsolete phone which now hangs in my garage. But it’s the phone that hung on my family’s kitchen wall for 60 years, so I knew it had to be in the snapshot. Mom was the official house phone-answerer. Dad had a compulsive aversion to answering the phone—except when Mom was out of town overnight, and then he sat at the kitchen table, waiting for her call.
Please note the smudges on the bottom of the receiver. Mom was probably in the middle of mixing a batch of cookies when the phone last rang. Mom always answered the phone (and she was always cooking something or other as she answered), and then she’d use her shoulder to hold the phone to her ear while she washed her hands, gabbing away like a pro to whoever was on the other end of the line. I’m so glad I decided not to wash the phone before I re-hung it here with me. Those smudges have lasting meaning.
I love my world map Bow Tie o’ the Day. We haven’t traveled anywhere since the pandemic came around, and I’m getting itchy to see some new sights. I was thinking I might choose where to go next by sticking a pin in Bow Tie’s map. But just the thought of sticking a pin in any bow tie made me grimace, as you can clearly see.
Last night, when Suzanne was at the puzzle, she asked me where I want to go when we finally feel like we can go on a bigly adventure again. I said I wasn’t sure where our next destination should be. Suzanne doesn’t fool me, though. She knows darn well where I want to go: Traverse City, Michigan. She’s just not sure she wants to go there. I’ve read about it, and it seems like it could be a laid-back place to play. It’s tourist-friendly, without being too touristy. And we’ve never been to that proverbial neck of the proverbial woods. Now, I don’t mean to make this post self-serving, but if any of you run into Suzanne in the near future, I’d appreciate it if you could sort of organically drop the name “Traverse City” into your conversation with her. Maybe she’ll start thinking it’s her idea to go there. That would really help me out a lot.🤓🤣
Tie o’ the Day is a splotchy, skinny tie. I generally prefer wide ties, just because the bigger the tie, the more there is for all to see. I like my bow ties that way too. Books Face Mask o’ the Day seemed appropriate since I am tidying up my various piles, stacks, and desks all around the house this morning, and every place I tidy, there are bookmarked books I am currently reading. There’s nothing new about that: I read, therefore, I am—wherever I go. Since I like to take an accounting of things to share with y’all, I did a Books-I’m-Currently-Reading Tally. I don’t know if you’ll be pleased or disgusted to know that I am in the process of reading 17 different books, simultaneously. But what can I say? I’m in every room in the house on any given day, and I never know exactly when I will be in the mood for reading somebody else’s writing. I don’t want to miss a thing.
This morning my attire said I was feeling pixelated. This afternoon I seem to have been feeling a bit paisley-ated. I cannot sing the high praises of paisley nearly enough. Paisley is a hit wherever you find it. Tie o’ the Day’s paisles do a kind of blendy thing with my paisle-filled shirt. Apparently, I can blend on occasion without getting hives.
And the bigly news of recent days is this piece of information I learned from someone anonymously commenting on TIE O’ THE DAY: Whenever I post something about how we should all be kind and be good neighbors, or when I wear a t-shirt or face mask about unity, or being nice, or having empathy—when I do these things, it’s a secret code that means I’m a socialist/communist who hates democracy.
Yup, that’s what I was told. Wow! I had no idea I hated democracy! I had no idea I was using code words for socialism/communism! I’m glad somebody told me, or I never would have known how wrong I’ve been about all this “love your neighbor” malarkey I peddle. Here, I thought I was simply repeating the lessons I was taught in Sunday School and by my parents. Perhaps I should re-think my crazy values about kindness.
You’ve heard the saying about how some people wear their heart on their sleeve. Well, I tend to wear mine on my whole shirt and Tie o’ the Day, and today I woke up feeling a touch pixelated. I wonder what that means. Guess I’ll find out.
Birthday balloons Bow Tie o’ the Day reached waaaaaaay back for this photo, which includes today’s beauteous birthday girl, Shelly Shields Monroe, there on the left. This picture hails from 1980, when we ended up together in the Miss Liberty royalty. Yes, I wore a dress. Lisa Topham was Miss Liberty. Shelly was 2nd Attendant, and I was 1st Attendant. For those of you not from the Delta area, and who are not familiar with the Miss Liberty pageant, let’s just say Miss Liberty and her attendants are the 4th of July royalty. We three rode on our own float in the 4th of July parade that year, in matching fabric dresses. Yes, even on the float, I had to wear a dress. At least Mom had made the dress for me, and—as she did with any dress she made me—had made pockets in it so I could carry a handful of Lemonheads, a pen, a tiny notebook, and a tiny book with me at all times during the July 4th parade. Lisa and Shelly and I waved and waved and waved and waved all the way down Main Street. Other than that, all I really remember about the whole Miss Liberty competition and the 4th of July parade was that I kept whispering sarcastic things to Shelly to make her laugh at inappropriate times. It worked.
Shelly and I haven’t lived near each other since we graduated from good ol’ Delta High School nearly 40 years ago. We have talked to each other probably only three or four times since then, but each time the talking came as easily as if we see each other every day. I highly suspect that if life were different, and Shelly and I lived in the same town, we would be like Mom and Peggy: grabbing a daily Coke and going for a ride through the landscape, during which we would help each other navigate the vicissitudes of life, and we would solve the problems of the world—being clever and snort-laughing all the way. Yeah, I think we’d be like Mom and Peggy, but with a lot of Thelma and Louise mixed in. Mostly Louise.
Our Bow Tie o’ the Day is on a pair of boxer briefs some anonymous TIE O’ THE DAY sent me. I decided the showy, formal boxer briefs would best be presented here if I wore them over my jeans. Aren’t they groovetastic? I could not wait until next Christmas season to show y’all my new treasure.When I receive the occasional tie-related gift in the mail, I am always reminded how blessed I am to be able to write these posts and have actual people pay attention to them. I am blessed to be able to connect in this way with folks I have somehow encountered along my life’s adventurous, meandering course. The list o’ blessings that have graced my life—and continue to do so—is too long to recount. Suffice it to say this: I usually feel as if I live in a kind of existential snow globe, in which, instead of the falling “snow,” blessings fall onto me every time my little world gets tipped over. I choose to see it that way. I suggest you view your world with a pair of blessing-colored glasses on occasion. It does wonders for your spirit.
