This afternoon I was wearing one of my fattest, widest ties as Tie o’ the Day when I pulled up to the Post Office to go inside to mail a package. I suddenly realized I didn’t have a face mask in my car. I have a billion of them. But all the dirty ones were in the washer, and I had just plain forgotten to re-supply each of the vehicles with clean ones. I had to get in that Post Office to complete my errand, and I didn’t want to take the time to run home and retrieve a mask first. What’s a girl to do? No worries! Fat, wide Tie o’ the Day to the rescue! Luckily, I was also wearing my bow tie sock garters. I slipped one of the sock garters around my head, then clipped it to the wide end of Tie—such that Tie snugly covered my nose and mouth for the duration of my postal errand. Mission accomplished. Well done, makeshift Face Mask o’ the Day.
Magnetic Wood Bow Tie o’ the Day is from a new batch of t-shirt bow ties which recently showed up in my mailbox. It’s very foliage-y. My pandemic hairs weren’t up for posing too wildly today—just wildly enough, so I went with the rubber band head-top ponytail.
I had to go to the pharmacy at Dick’s Market this afternoon, and yet again I forgot I had a Pandemic Hairs Thursday hairdo going on when I hatless-ly left the house. And yet again, my pharmacist seemed extra amused during our visit. I had no idea why she was so extra amused by my presence today, until I noticed my pandemic hairs shadow when I was getting into Vonnegut Grace Vibe to go back home.
My shadow looked like I was flipping a fluffy bird to the world with my head hairs. I really wasn’t trying for that look. However, I guess we all sort of feel like sending that message on occasion. If that’s the message you want to send, this just might be the right pandemic hairdo for you.
After a couple of weeks’ growth, Chia Mitt clearly leads his opponent on this Pandemic Hairs Thursday. Chia Barry is making a real effort, but his Chia hairs lag far behind those of Mitt’s luxurious Chia locks. The race is not over. Stay tuned.
And she knows how to brandish Neckwear o’ the Day. I wanna put up some pix in The Tie Room, and I’m thinking I might go strictly Dietrich. I say that, but I’m sure the room won’t feel right if I don’t have at least one Katharine Hepburn print, too. And maybe a print of a colorful clown with an outlandish bow tie. Everything can’t be black and white.
The new-to-this-earth Susanna Rue Crane—with help from her dad and her older sister, Felicity—graces us with her head Bow Tie o’ the Day, in the midst of her bigly stretch. And just who are these people? That’ll take some ‘splainin.’
I’ve mentioned before that by the time I came along, my siblings were well on their way to being out the door. I was solo most of the time. When I wanted some sound and fury and sibling-like entertainment, I made my way to Lucille and Dan Hansen’s house, where their kids were always engaged in some road show or another. We were in the same ward for most of my kidhood. Becky was my softball coach, and we talked about plays and poetry. David and I were forever trying to out-circus each other. Kathleen was more stoic, but had just the right amount of troublemaker in her. She was a real pal. Peggy was the last of that particular Hansen clan. She’s younger than yours truly, and I mostly remember her as an audience to whatever David and I, or Kathleen and I, schemed to do. (Hmmmmm. Note to self: I must write about some of my Hansen stories. Soon.)
Flash forward. So Peggy Hansen created her own family, and her oldest is named Becca. Are ya with me? So then Becca and her hubby created Felicity. And now—they’ve created Susanna Rue for us to coo about.
When I told Suzanne someone I’ve never actually met was having a new baby, Suzanne got craft-excited and thought, “BLANKET!” And then when I told her the new baby has an imaginative older sister they call Miss Fliss, Suzanne got craft-excited again, and thought, “ANOTHER BLANKET!” She immediately got to work with her crochet hooks.
I see Miss Fliss chose the arrow blanket for herself, leaving the elephant blanket for Susanna Rue. You follow your arrow, Miss Fliss! You and Susanna Rue are now officially stars on TIE O’ THE DAY. You are both welcome to appear on a post any time you wish.
For the past 12 1/2 years I’ve been under the impression Dad passed on to the Great Coyote Hunt In The Sky. And then today, I’m flipping through the trillions of tv channels, when I come upon movie evidence that he has simply run off to be a monk AND the captain of a submarine. Wherever he is, I hope he’s happy. But if he’s not really dead already and Mom finds out he’s traipsing around in the pandemic world without her, she will surely hunt him down and see that he does indeed go to that Great Coyote Hunt In The Sky for real this time.
When I was working on my Master’s in Creative Writing at the University of Utah, my friends were all writers. When they would see a picture of my bearded dad in my apartment, they always commented that he was a good likeness for Ernest Hemingway. Of course, that’s what writers would see. Everyone else who saw him—especially in person—thought he was a near-ringer for Sean Connery. I can’t argue with either choice. He was a handsome fella, either way.
BTW Dad’s beard was all salt-and-pepper, not white as it appears in these pix. Blame my brilliant photographic skills and the disposable cameras I used back in the day.
So I took a few days off from creating TIE O’ THE DAY, and I always feel guilty when I skip posting. It’s not like this is a “real” job, but it has its pressures. I’m no bigly deal, but I know I have readers here and there who panic when they don’t get their TIE O’ THE DAY fix. I hear from them, and they are loud. Mostly, if they haven’t seen me post for a few days, they are concerned I might have flipped my bipolar lid and gotten into a troubled state o’ mind, or they wonder if the remaining 1/3 of my pancreas—my Hanky Panky—is still working. I feel double guilt when I’ve put someone into a worry about me, and then it feels impossible for me to return to my posting.
I can be a funny and observant gal, but there’s a constant pressure with TIE O’ THE DAY to share my love o’ neckwear, and to write clever and wise anecdotes and stories to entertain and occasionally enlighten y’all with each post. Sometimes, I can’t even explain what TIE O’ THE DAY is supposed to be. It’s a project which is always evolving. Sketched green Bow Tie o’ the Day presents this photo of the music artist, Rina Sawayama as proof of said evolution. I was simply flipping through a magazine this morning, and I saw this photo. Of course, I immediately said to myself, “Self, this has to show up in TIE O’ THE DAY.” And here it is. I want this hairdo. I must have it.
This would be a knee-slappin’ story, but I can’t tell it right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell it on TIE O’ THE DAY. But if I could, you’d guffaw so hard you’d snort your drink right out your nose and onto whatever techno gadget you’re reading this post on. So I’m sorry to tease y’all, but you’ll just have to wonder about what I did. Let it suffice to say that my Tie o’ the Day is telling you I am currently residing in the proverbial doghouse. I did a thing. And it didn’t work out as planned. I miscalculated. It was a hilarious thing, but it turned into a mess. I’m laughing about it already, but I’m trying to play it down a bit around Suzanne. She’s not seeing the humor yet. I know she and I will laugh about it together someday. And I hope y’all will laugh about it too. But today is not that day. If I had a tail, it would be contritely between my legs. I will content myself with the non-comforts of the doghouse this weekend, I’m sure.
TIE O’ THE DAY’s 2012 Presidential contender Chia heads are showing their first sprouts of “hair” growth. They are thriving under the watchful eye of Suzanne—the official gardener of the household. Her 30 years as a member of the infamous Champagne Garden Club have prepared her for this hairy Chia moment in history. Who will sprout the most magnificent hair? Mitt seems to be in the lead right now. But there’s plenty o’ time left in the race.
On a daily basis, there are lots of things being said and done out in the world which Skitter and I find disappointing, chaotic, and generally not nice. We have chosen to live by a few truths that assist us in making our way through life relatively unscathed by the malarkey being so proudly spat by destructive hooligans we occasionally encounter in our realm. Chief among our values is KINDNESS. And one of the bigly truths of how kindness works is that the only way to live kindness is to share it. It is impossible to be a kind soul if you’re only kind to yourself. It is also impossible to be a kind soul if you don’t put kindness into action. Feeling kind, or thinking kind thoughts, is completely ineffective. You must share kindness, in order to keep yourself kind.
Anyhoo… On today’s Pandemic Hairs Thursday, I decided to reinforce to Skitter the value of KINDNESS. I asked her if she would share one of her new Ties o’ the Day with me. She was glad to share it. And I asked her if she wanted me to share some of my Pandemic Hairs o’ the Day with her. I mean—I have an excess of hairs I’m not using right now. She relished the idea of temporarily having long hair. Despite how miserable she looks in these photos, she was giddy. Skitter and I just sat around in the loveseat for part of the afternoon, sharing her ties and my hairs with each other. We both agreed that even simple, near-effortless acts of kind can enrich us beyond measure. To perform acts of kindness is a revolutionary idea.
Be kind, y’all. Commit to kindness. Kindness goes with whatever you’re wearing.
