Month: March 2020

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Another Gorgeous Babe

Thanks to whoever it is at Millard Care and Rehabilitation in Delta who snapped this shot of Mom and her bigly butterfly. It looks like she had a fine time crafting what I like to think of as a butterfly-style Bow Tie o’ the Day. Hey, you know darn well I’d find a way to wear this with a clashing shirt. (Thanks for taking the other shots too.)

MCR’s up-to-date Facebook page provides us welcome assurance that our loved ones who reside there are busy and happy, even though we aren’t allowed to personally visit them while COVID-19 lurks about. We know that with the lockdown in place, the folks at MCR are taking extra care to keep the residents safe and engaged in activities.

I cannot praise those who work at MCR nearly enough for all they do for their residents. When we first moved Mom in about 18 months ago, my siblings and I weren’t completely sure we were making the best decision for her. We were all a bit apprehensive about if she would really like living in “the care center.” But Mom began to thrive there almost immediately, and it reassured us we had made the right decision for her. In those first months, I received texts from some of her caregivers, updating me on her well-being. A few weeks after Mom moved in, a caregiver texted me to say Mom was missing my late dad horribly, so I posted a bunch of pix and stories about Dad over the next few days— which the caregiver made sure to read to and show to Mom daily. It seemed to help Mom out of her Dad-funk.

Because of the dedicated caregivers who work at MCR, Mom’s adjustment to her new, last home was easier on Mom than it was on us. Mom says the MCR food is tasty. The facility’s schedule is always full of field trips, games, parties, musical programs, and crafts. Mom didn’t answer her phone one day, and I found out later it was because she was on a trampoline. Another time she didn’t answer because she was getting her Temple Recommend.

Thanks again, MCR. Mom loves you, as do we. Keep posting the pix! Skitter and I will be down to see you all after the lockdown ends.

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Meet Jane And Her Merry Band Of Bows

In an effort to forget about COVID-19 and the ever-present toilet paper shortage for a few minutes, TIE O’ THE DAY offers y’all this magnificent dip into the cuteness that is baby + bow ties.

This little charmer is Jane, and she is not related to me at all. Jane is the daughter of Brooke, who is a niece of my imaginary friend, Darci. I refer to Darci as my imaginary friend because I’ve seen her in person probably three times in the seven years I’ve known her. We understand each other’s humor and general outlook, even though we only experience it on Facebook.

Princess Jane was born around the same time Grace Anne came into the world. Our Gracie can rock a hair bow tie with the best of them. Although there is no official baby bow competition, Gracie might have to step up her game if she’s gonna hang with the likes of Sweet Baby Jane. Check out Jane’s enchanted head-bowin’ portfolio here. Bow, Jane, Bow!

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And I Alone Am Escaped To Tell Thee

Buckin’ bronco Tie o’ the Day and I managed to dodge the army of quarantined zombie bow ties, to slip undetected into the ladies’ reading room. I knew the hooligans would find me eventually. They always do. Every parent with a house full of children or bow ties knows this feeling: “I just need five minutes to myself. Please—just five uninterrupted minutes. I will sell my soul to the first power which will grant me five quiet minutes.”

But we parents also know we never get the whole five minutes. No, we get about thirty seconds before the first knock at the bathroom door, which is followed by childish attempts to turn the doorknob long after it’s clear the door is locked. We begin to grumble in our heads. We grumble quietly out loud. We wonder who had all these kids. We wonder why they can’t survive for such a short amount of time without us. We wonder a lot of stuff. Briefly, we wonder.

And then we get the teeny fingers under the door—clawing in our direction. That’s the nail in the coffin of our solitude. Our defeat is inevitable. We know there’s no going back now. We must surrender our sanity to the herd. We put down our unread books; we gird up our frazzled loins; and we head back into the loud chaos of those small beasts who love us as much as we love them.

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And The Housework Doesn’t Get Done

So far, the quarantined neckties, ascots, cravats, and bolos have minded their tie business. The home-stuck bow ties, however, have taken over the house. This afternoon, I went to throw in a load of laundry, and I discovered four Bow Ties o’ the Day had already commandeered the washing machine. The Bow Ties tell me it’s their pretend lake. They say they want a ski boat. Oh, the swimming and diving I’ve seen the little bows doing! They are skinny-dipping as they water-frolic, as well! I can’t blame them. I did the exact same things when I was a kid— just not in anybody’s washing machine.

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They’re On The Move

It’s the Zombie Bow Ties o’ the Apocalypse! I turn to the west, and there they are. I turn to the east, and there they are. It matters not if I go upstairs or downstairs—they’re following me. Everywhere. Their pointy little bow tie schools are closed for the duration of the pandemic, and all they have now is yours truly, 24/7. The dapper critters do not even allow me a moment of privacy. I fear my brain is becoming altered by the constant mass presence of the Zombie Bow Ties o’ the Apocalypse. I fear I am becoming one of them. 😱

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Housebroken

Being stuck at home during this pandemic makes it easier for me to deal with some potty-training issues Tie o’ the Day is working on. I’ve got over 5,000 pieces of neckwear living in The Tie Room, and—trust me— it gets ugly if even one of them isn’t house-trained.

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Cabin Fever Strikes The Neckwear

Boy, was I surprised to see this sight when I opened the fridge to get a soda this morning. Bow Ties o’ the Day are clearly going stir crazy in the midst of this self-imposed quarantine. The bow ties haven’t been out of the house for far too long. Now, they’ve turned to housebound shenanigans to amuse themselves, and their jokes are always on me. I think it’s time I leash the necky critters and take them for a walk. I’ll make sure each one maintains the recommended 6 feet of “social distancing” if we run into any of the neighbors while we’re out.

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Stocking Up

I wore my hot dog/hamburger/pizza/fries Bow Tie o’ the Day to the grocery store. I didn’t need anything in particular, but I decided to join the neighborhood lemmings and buy a stockpile of whatever was left on the shelves. I was surprised to find shelves full of some of my favorite foods, like ice cream, potato chips, chocolate bars, CHEWY SPREE, and licorice. Junk food is not very nutritious, but it’ll do the job of keeping you alive during an emergency. During a pandemic, nobody’s going to be slamming you for your food choices. Nobody’s gonna be watching anybody’s calorie intake. Heck no! We’ve all got more important things on our minds, so a pandemic is the perfect time to eat whatever you want.

I generally tend to choose any and all foods from the Bow Tie Food Group. These foods are clearly marked with bow ties on the labels. The PRINGLES guy is wearing a bow tie, so I must have a can or dozen of that. The blackberry BUBLY water is likewise bow tie-marked. I must, therefore, fill my cart with a case of said blackberry BUBLY water. I already have bow tie pasta in the pantry, so it doesn’t bother me that the pasta shelves are already empty at Dick’s Market.

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I’m Mature-er Than I Once Was

Well, I admit I’m probably not much more mature than I was. But I am another year older, as of last week. I declare my thanks for all the birthday regards which came my way from y’all. I try to never lose sight of all the kind people who have crossed my path throughout my life. And I mean you, of course, among others. By blessing, by luck, and by accident, I have always found good folks to know. I’ve encountered some mean beings here and there, but I have always tried to keep them at bay from me and the stellar humans I claim as my family and friends. If you believe in kindness and laughter, you are not just a name to me. You are my true clan.

In these photos, I present Bow Tie o’ My Birthday Dinner. Suzanne treated me to dinner in SLC at TABLE X, where our waiter scrounged up a candle for my birthday tiramisu after he heard it was my bday. Also, I liked the light fixture in the restaurant’s bathroom, so here it is for you to see. And finally, note Suzanne’s faces when she’s paying the check at the end of the evening. It looks like it was the teensiest bit painful for her and her debit card. But I’m worth it, she says. After all these years, I’ve still got her completely fooled.