I’m full to the brim with the whole Christmas PEACE-LOVE-JOY spirit. In fact, about two seconds after I snapped this photo, I was hit with a jolt of goodwill to all which was so intense that my celebratory emotions physically overcame me— causing the seams of my clothing to burst apart and the fabric to rip. Meanwhile, my body turned an effervescent hue of X-mas green. To compose myself, I had to escape the clamoring Dick’s Market crowd, and so I ran home, red-faced, in my green body, tattered clothes, and massive spirit of love for all humanity— proudly waving my NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS Tie o’ the Day behind me.
