Day: November 13, 2018

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I Lack Gift Wrapping Skills

Bow Tie o’ the Day presents an icon from a classic Christmas film: the moose-shaped glass from which the Griswold’s supped eggnog in CHRISTMAS VACATION. I have watched that movie at least 8,000 times, and I will watch it at least 8,000 more times before I die. I hope I can watch it 8,000 more times in Heaven/Hell– wherever I’m going to end up. This movie’s humor just never gets un-funny.

Yesterday, I asked Suzanne what kind of sewing machine she wants me to get her for Christmas this year. And do you know what she said for the first time ever? She said she doesn’t need one. I can’t believe she finally has enough sewing machines. (Don’t worry. I know it won’t last.) Last year I got her an embroidery machine, and I guess that topped off her collection. But now I’m stuck with trying to figure out what present to get her for Christmas. I know I can do exactly what I’ve done for the last year: hand her my laptop and my debit card, and let her go wild for every gifty occasion. The great thing about doing that is that I’m the one who gets surprised at the gifts I gave her for Christmas, birthday, Mothers Day, or whatever. That’s kinda fun for me to see what “I” got her.

But I would like to surprise Suzanne this Christmas. We already have two vacations planned for Spring and early Summer, so a trip is probably not the most surprisey thing to give her. She has every sewing/crafting/quilting/crocheting/etc. machine and/or gadget and supply known to mankind, so it can’t be something of that ilk. I’m stymied.

To make matters worse, our legal wedding anniversary is two days before Xmas, so there’s yet another gift I have to figure out. If Suzanne and I last until December 23– and there’s a pretty good chance we will– this will be our 5th anniversary. Traditionally, the proper gift for the 5th anniversary is supposed to be something wood. She won’t want a wood bow tie, so I gotta nix that. We don’t have a fireplace, so chopping her a pile of wood is unnecessary. I doubt books qualify as wood. She gets seasick, so a wood canoe won’t cut the mustard. Once more, I’m stymied.

See, I really have been putting a great deal of thought into what gifts to get Suzanne. I don’t wait until the last minute to shop for gifts, but clearly I’ve got a bit more cogitating to do. When I finally think of gifts, they are absolutely perfect for the intended recipient. I am a superb gift giver. Suzanne doesn’t have that particular talent. But I’ll save that story for another post, another day. I need to write it and post it on a day I can be sure Suzanne won’t have time to read it.

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A Two-fer O’ Ties

Peppermint Bow Tie o’ the Day is this year’s introduction to the Christmas neckwear. Let the holiday atTIEre season begin! I have to start displaying the collection this early, so you can see a representative cornucopia of holiday neckwear by the end of the season. You won’t see every last one of the holiday ties– just a select 100 or so. I’d be wearing them all year if I had to present them all.

Skitter decked herself out in her tartan Tie o’ the Day, in order to attend her award ceremony. I felt like she deserved some kind of prize for finally– after five years with us– being able to set aside her weird fear, and pee while on one of her walks. Finally, she peed somewhere other than on our own property. I still stand all amazed at her new ability.

I managed to dig out my 1980 Miss Liberty trophy to give to Skitter, to acknowledge her triumph. Skitter didn’t even mind that whatever was atop the trophy had broken off and got lost a couple of decades ago. Skitter’s hairy chest filled with pride as she accepted her trophy– although she thought it was too pokey to sleep with in her crate.

I put it on top of Suzanne’s Ultimate SewingBox for all to see. Since I placed the trophy up there, Skitter has made eye contact with nothing else. I can’t blame her for being dizzy with glee about getting an award. She has worked hard to turn into a real dog.