Day: October 9, 2018

Posted on

Button, Button, Who’s Got The Button?

As you can see from some bare bins and shelves, Suzanne still hasn’t finished filling The Ultimate SewingBox. She wants to get her supplies situated in just the right places, so she’s thinking things through extremely carefully. She’s even experimented with chairs– like Goldilocks– to find the perfect one for her height and butt.

In one of those bins, on one of those shelves, lives an ever-increasing population of buttons. She has the buttons. But I have the button Bow Tie o’ the Day. Actually, I bought Bow Tie for Suzanne to wear while working at her sewing machine. I thought that would make a good post photo. But I am insanely greedy about my bow ties. Every once in a blue moon, I can share. But I couldn’t share this one, even though it was my sincere intention to do so. I think I’m jealous that Suzanne can craft and sew and play with buttons, and I can’t do any of those things. Bow Tie is the only way I can play along. It’s the only way I can be part of the sewing agenda.

I mean– I’m resting in the recliner today, and since an entire wall of the living room is taken up byThe Ultimate SewingBox, it’s impossible to not gaze upon it constantly without even trying. Oh, I like it, and I told Suzanne I wanted it here in the living room, so she’s not going to always be shut away in a 2nd-floor room, being crafty all by herself. We would never see each other because she would never come downstairs again.

Sometimes, though, I feel left out of what goes on in the living room since the arrival of The Ultimate SewingBox. When Suzanne had a couple of sewing machines on the table, I didn’t feel left out like I feel now. But now that The Ultimate SewingBox has taken up residence here, Suzanne is more obsessed with it than either of us could have predicted. On the other hand, I guess I really did know this would happen.

And that’s why I bought us a 65-inch TV, which is far too big for the living room. It takes up a bigly amount of space on the wall adjoining The Ultimate SewingBox wall. It’s the only way I can compete. It’s the only way I can distract my eyes from focusing even their peripheral vision on Suzanne’s object of eternal joy. Two can play at this game. I’d like to see Suzanne try to ignore me and that TV now.

Posted on

Multiply, Replenish, And Magnify

I’m wiped-out from yesterday’s day trip to Delta. Clearly, my stamina’s improving but it still sucks. It’s only driving, you know. Before she left for work, Suzanne gave me strict instructions to do absolutely nothing that requires movement today, so Bow Tie o’ the Day and I are camped with Skitter on the recliner, where I’m reading in my new blinged-out reading glasses.

I finally broke down and admitted to myself that my old pair of reading glasses wasn’t cutting the reading mustard. Off I went to Walmart to search for a stronger prescription. I discovered that when it comes to reading words on a page, I am almost completely blind. For a few years, I used a magnifying glass when reading, but holding it got in the way of me using the remote. Can’t have that. That’s when I got my first readers.

I wore bifocals for a time, but they made me dizzy and gave me headaches. It’s worth it to me to switch glasses depending on what I’m doing. It’s a pain in the butt, but it’s better than wearing one pair of glasses that makes you want to carry around a barf bag.

What I learned as a kid from watching my parents use reading glasses is that reading glasses are like the scissors and the scotch tape. You can never find them when you need them. It’s as if those three objects conspire to play hide-and-seek without letting you in on the game.

To counter this where-did-I-put-that? phenomenon, there is only one solution: Buy more than one of each. Hell, buy a case of each. Scatter them through the house. You’ll still never find them when you need them, but at least you’ll have a better chance.