Thursday, September 27, 2018

Here’s what Bow Tie o’ the Day knows with perfect certainty: Suzanne will get home late from work today, because that’s how she rolls every day. Even with The Ultimate SewingBox waiting for her– which is her dream come true– she will still be the brilliant educator she is, and she will put children first. She pushes herself to excel at her work, with the students always foremost in her mind.

But when Suzanne gets home, she will open up The Ultimate SewingBox you see here. And she will be single-mindedly engaged in the task of filling up The Ultimate SewingBox with her sewing supplies– prepping it for her current list of projects. She will not pass GO. She will not collect $200. ( If you don’t get that reference, I feel really bad for you. And I feel really old.) She will not pay attention to me, nor will she acknowledge Skitter. For her, this whole The Ultimate SewingBox thing is her Christmas morning, as it should be.

For me, watching Suzanne hobby around is like watching a litter of puppies play. You can’t not watch them, and you can’t not relax and smile at how seriously they take their playing. The day Suzanne isn’t sewing or crafting in some way is the day she will no longer be with us. And you can be sure I hope that day never comes.

You know how we’re encouraged to have food storage in case of some natural disaster, or a lost job, or the invasion of green aliens? I think Suzanne has decided she needs to store fabric and thread and sewing machines in case of any of these Armageddons. She’ll be sewing a quilt top, while we’re all fighting our neighbors in the streets for the last of the drinkable water. She will not die with her boots on. She will die cradling a bolt o’ flannel in her arms.

I should probably also pack her a 72-hour kit full of sewing and crocheting implements to carry in the trunk of her car. It’ll make us both feel better about the catastrophic end of the world.

The star Neckwear o’ the Day is the Wild Rag o’ Last Evening worn by Suzanne’s nephew, Colton. He’s our very own The Ultimate SewingBox Assembler. Colton made it clear to me that wild rags are not scarves, and to refer to them as such is out-and-out wrong. I will refrain from even trying to figure out the difference between the two.

Ain’t Colton cute? Don’t you just wanna hug him? You can see his cute butt in one of these photos, also. It’s worth a look-see. Colton was obviously game to be in this pic, but he felt bad he didn’t have his signature cowboy hat with him. A sweaty work hat looks good on him, too.

Although The Ultimate SewingBox instructions said the project required approximately 3 hours to put it together, it took over 5. And that was with Suzanne assisting Colton after she got home from work. If Colton can’t complete what somebody says is a 3-hour task in 3 hours, it isn’t a 3-hour task. That man can work. That man is efficient.

So here is The Ultimate SewingBox, although I’m sure it won’t be the last time I post about it. It takes up one entire living room wall when it’s opened up. It’s kind of its own little room. It is certainly bigly-er than either of us imagined it would be. You can get an idea how large this thing is when you see Colton standing next to it. He is 6 ft. 15 inches tall.

As I’ve said, some people have a fireplace as the focal point of their living room. This is now what we have. I told Suzanne I will be happy if The Ultimate SewingBox is always open, taking up a pretty bigly chunk o’ the living room. Her happiness is my happiness.

And now, I have a lifetime pass on her fussing about anything I do. She’s that hyped up about having The Ultimate SewingBox in her possession. From now on, I can do no wrong.

Suzanne hasn’t yet inserted all of The Ultimate SewingBox’s bins and trays. That’ll take up an evening. And then filling each container after they’re in place will take up the weekend. Suzanne will be thrilled to have to figure out what she wants to put in it. She will definitely have to carefully choose The Ultimate SewingBox supplies from her overflowing craft room. I could buy her one of these for the other three living room walls, and they still wouldn’t be able to hold her hoard o’ sewing stuff. (I know. I’m one to talk. I have The Tie Room.)

Suzanne seems deeply pleased with her new toy. In fact, even before it was completely put together, I saw her literally petting it. And her cheeks were high with giddiness. Best. Money. I. Ever. Spent.

If you wanna see The Ultimate SewingBox in action, here’s the link you wanna check out:

https://youtu.be/fRisNZfdsLs