Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
What a fine and dandy Spring day! Tie and Bow Tie o’ the Day dragged me outside to the playground. The slide was their fave. I wish merry-go-rounds still existed. I can picture the neckwear flying ’round in all their glory. They want to learn to ride bikes. There’s a chance Tie can learn. I’m afraid Bow Tie isn’t long enough to reach the pedals though. Popo taught me to ride. I’ve got a picture of it somewhere. I’m wearing shorts and cowboy boots. Style, forever!
I disguised myself in this different Bow Tie o’ the Day and my hat when I got home from church in Provo. I sat reverently in church with my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless (SWWTRN), as we gazed in great adoration at our Travis The Bishop. It was enriching. And then it got intense. A couple of people accosted us, welcoming us to the ward which isn’t our ward. My SWWTRN wondered why. I said, “To hell with us, it’s Bow Tie they want.” 🎀 ⛪
I don’t have time to write this post, but I am. I’m headed to Provo to church, where my nephew, Travis, is a bishop. That boy makes me proud. I brought out peacock feathers Bow Tie o’ the Day again for the occasion. And Cufflinks o’ the Day are my homage to those Mormon glass grape clusters that were atop every Mormon tv in the 70’s. Those things hurt when “somebody” pulled one off the cluster and threw it in the air, then failed to catch it. 🤓
Bow Tie o’ the Day and Shirt o’ the Day exploded into eye-warping clash, and glasses Cufflinks o’ the Day helped me take in the smash-up. My sorta psychedelic style makes it easier for Suzanne to find me in store aisles when I wander away like I’m a toddler. We were shopping at AT HOME, and thirty minutes ago, I snuck out and drove home. When she texts me for my whereabouts in the store, I’ll drive back and sneak inside. She’ll never know I was gone.
A couple of Bow Ties o’ the Day bring you the flip side of my fave t-shirt. Just in case you want to learn to tie bow ties, my t-shirt is here to show you– step by step. I am ashamed to say that I can’t tie bow ties. I’ve tried, but I don’t try anymore. A few years ago, while moving my EpiPen, I inadvertently stuck the palm of my right hand. My hand ballooned right up, and it has little dexterity now. That’s my excuse. 🖐
Tie o’ the Day provides dandy clash. Cufflinks o’ the Day are going old school alarm clocks. I had to rise early to get to my crazy-head doc’s office, to get a Functional Ability Evaluation signed for the Driver License Division. It tells them I’m not too bipolar to drive safely. Actually, I got it signed weeks ago, but the Driver License folks wouldn’t accept the form cuz my doc put a cross in a box where a check mark had to be. Waste o’ my time.
Flash drive Cufflinks o’ the Day remind us to back-up our computer documents regularly. I tried a new move on the desktop yesterday, and I lost some writing. Ugh! Suzanne can maybe fix it: she’s got skills. When I screw up something, I inform Suzanne– in a sheepish, hesitant voice– “I did a thing.” Whenever I say it, I briefly see a petrified look cross her face, which I’m pretty sure means she’s wondering if I’m gonna say, “I slipped up and had a drink.” Nope. 🥛
This is proof of how I keep the hairs on half my noggin out of my eyes. Time for a trim. Bow Tie o’ the Day shows up on my new fave t-shirt. The bow tie makers at Vermont-based Beau Ties called me last week to verify my recent order was correct. I had ordered a slim-line style bow, and I usually order butterfly-style. I was pleased they paid attention to little ol’ me and my purchasing patterns. I’m not famous, but I kinda am to them.
Bow Tie o’ the Day is a new addition to my collection. Its title is BARCELONA. I’m wearing Tie Clip o’ the Day on my shirt because tie clips don’t go on bow ties. But there’s a theme here: Tie Clip came to me, from Suzanne, all the way from Barcelona. In 1986, Suzanne studied in Spain, where she saw this elegant tie clip. I have no doubt she said in her head, “This has Helen written all the heck over it.” She was right. As always. 😲 🎁
Diamond Bow Tie o’ the Day is proud to announce that our HAMILTON tickets arrived yesterday, just before 8PM. At least they came before the delivery deadline. But today, I’m having one of those days like when you know somethin’s brewin,’ but you don’t know exactly what’s up. You know it’s coming though. Is it going to happen to you? Your family? Is somebody sick? Is there some betrayal at hand? You just want whatever it is to get here, so you can get it over with. 🤔 🙀