Month: March 2018

Posted on

We Should All Get To Watch A Clown On Our Birthday

I had a pleasant dilemma while getting dressed. What neckwear clashes with opera? Suzanne’s taking me to dinner and the opera, PAGLIACCI, for my birthday. The Italian word translates to “sad clown,” which perfectly describes my essence. I wish I had opera glasses though, because they would be a swanky, snooty fashion accessory. I can’t believe in all my years of buying stuff I don’t need, I’ve never purchased a pair o’ opera glasses. What the fruitcake is wrong with me? Besides hoarding ties, I mean. 🎭

Posted on

Yup, I’m Ancient. And I’m Good With That.

Duct tape Bow Tie o’ the Day is ready to shower. It’s my fifty-damn-fourth birfday 🤡, and Suzanne tells me big plans are afoot. I think this pic is telling me that, despite being out of bed for three hours, it’s probably time I wake all the way up and take a shower. I must get dressed in proper clash for my birfday 😜 occasion. I know you’ve been wondering, and the answer is… yes, I do shower in a bow tie. I’d feel downright naked if I didn’t. 🤣

Posted on

Keep Your Paws Off This Clash, And Don’t Stare Directly At It

Bow Ties/Tie o’ the Day add their panache to the clash-a-rama of my entire get-up. The hot-ness of this sexy outfit is undeniable. Thus, my fire extinguisher Cufflinks o’ the Day are absolutely necessary for my safety, and for the safety of passers-by. Skitter nearly went up in flames when she nuzzled against my shouting duds. The scene was like an Old West shoot-out. Skitter almost got singed, so I drew my trusty fire extinguishers. I shot that spark dead! Skitter’s wisely keeping her skittish distance. 🔥

Posted on

That Awkward Moment Between Birth And Death

Bow Tie o’ the Day was delivered on my front door step by Fed-Ex this morning. It is my first bow tie from my Wooden-Bow-Tie-Of-The-Month Club. I can’t decide whether it is sleeping in a nest or a manger. Is it fowl or mammal? Will it learn to fly out of its nest? Or will it crawl out of its manger, all wobbly and trying to find its legs? It makes no difference to me. I will love and wear it whatever way it emerges. 🕊 🐩 🎀

Posted on

Notice Them, And Thank Them. Everywhere.

Bow Tie o’ the Day celebrates International Women’s Day, which shouldn’t be just one day. It should be a 24/7, 365 party. Alkaline battery Cufflinks o’ the Day remind us to thank and honor the energized women around us, who care for us and build us up throughout our lives. These women are so constantly present that we sometimes forget to appreciate them. It seems as if sometimes we don’t even see them in the foreground/background, helping and encouraging us to become stupendous, moral, fascinating people. See them. 👁

Posted on

Tie-less Zombies Must Feel Twice As Exhausted

I could not fall asleep the entire night, so I took to the couch and watched asinine programs on tv. I chose bright Tie o’ the Day and matching cloth Cufflinks, in hopes of the bright green keeping me awake all day as I errand. I feel like a zombie. No, I AM a zombie. There better not be any such thing as a DWZ: Driving While Zombie. I know I am transformed, because Skitter refuses to sit by me. This too shall pass. I think. 😴

Posted on

I Can Read In The Dark, By The Light O’ The Bow Tie

Even though I am a full-time missionary for clash fashion (clashion?), I, too, own single-colored shirts. This Bow Tie o’ the Day is a way to make the plain into the WOWZER!!! Bow Tie is outlined with battery-powered, fluorescent yellow light. And the light has two flash speeds. A photograph can’t show the fullness of Bow Tie’s flashy moves. You’ll have to trust me. Here, I’m in a closed-eyes, giddy blur– due to the wild, optical assault by Bow Tie’s lighted action. Life’s good! And damn interesting! 💡 👀 😎

Posted on

Where Does The Tie-m Go?

Bow Tie o’ the Day asked me what I want for my upcoming birthday. When anyone asks what I want, I always say, “A non-flaming pancreas”– instead of my actual Hanky Panky. But really, I’m a lucky gal. I already have everything I need and want. I don’t mind getting older, but when I estimate how much longer I will likely live, I know it’s not enough time for me. I have people to love, and love to receive. And I have ties to nurture.❣ 👔

Posted on

It Would Be A Miracle, And I Want No Part Of It

Bow Tie o’ the Day and ‘Links o’ the Day are a bit watermelon-y. I’ve had the weirdest cravings lately. Today, I ate an entire box of Cinnamon Life cereal, and then consumed some watermelon. When we were vacationing in Monterey last month, I ate nothing but calamari and Red Vines licorice. I eat oddly, in general. But these are new levels of food combinations for me. Remember the cliché about pregnant women craving ice cream and pickles? Sounds yummy. I better not be pregnant. 😱 🙀

Posted on

Rock, Paper, Feathers

Bow Tie o’ the Day is my latest acquisition. The wood doggie do-dad thrills me, and the lush partridge and pheasant feathers are both soft and splendid. I photographed it alone, so you could gander at its ornithological grandeur. I often pet its silky feathers. FYI Suzanne is relatively pain-free after her lithotripsy trip to the hospital yesterday. She does have a patch of what resembles road rash on her side where the laser shot through her. But she’s peeing sandy rocks, which is a good sign. 🚽