Month: February 2018

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Your Car Could Be Next, Old Coot!

Bigly, wood Bow Tie o’ the Evening was kind enough to accompany me to the Home Owners Association meeting. Bow Tie, Lapel Pin, Cufflinks, and Pocket Square ALL acted as my disguise. Mustaches will do that. A disguise is necessary cuz sometimes at these meetings, neighbors forget to love their neighbors. Especially regarding HOA budgets. Recently, some cars have been harassed. When I asked if the Board had discussed installing cameras, the guy next to me snapped, “Only if YOU pay for them!” Love you more, doofus! 💋

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Suzanne Must Think The Lightbulbs Never Burn Out

Tie o’ the Day clashes properly with Shirt, but I should’ve worn a bow tie. I’ve been climbing ladders to replace dead lightbulbs, and ties kinda get in the way. Cufflinks o’ the Day met their bigger, brighter counterparts. For them, seeing real lightbulbs must have seemed like seeing The Jolly Light Giant. I don’t change bulbs if Suzanne’s around. We have high ceilings, and she frets my tremors will toss me off the ladder. If I ever have to call her from the ER, I’m toast. 💡 🏥

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I Should Have Slipped Some Neckwear Into Suzanne’s Suitcase

Bow Tie o’ the Day is covered in superhero lightning bolts, while Cufflinks o’ the Day show a pop art interpretation of Batman’s sidekick, Robin. Suzanne will always be the superhero, and I will always be the sidekick. She went to St. George and Cedar City for work for a couple of days, and she will get home tonight. That’ll be good. A sidekick is kinda lost without their superhero. But how has she managed to get through her days without being surrounded by ties?

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The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God

Tie o’ the Day presents the only kind of flowers I can make thrive. I am a serial plant killer. My black thumb has killed every plant — garden and indoor — I’ve ever had. And my skills at annihilation don’t stop with plants: I somehow managed to kill the pet rocks I owned in the 70’s. ⛰ 🥀 Be sure to check out my hairs’ side-mohawk. Soon, I’ll be able to comb it over to the longer side. While it grows out, I’m playing silly games with its heights. 🙀

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The Atlantic Ocean Misses Me And My Ties

Tie o’ the Day’s a cozy flannel, which– with a flannel shirt–  is the only way to wear a flannel blanket outdoors. I’m very hatty these days, cuz my ears are cold. And they’ll probably stay frozen until June. I wanna say May, but we always get that late Spring freeze and snowstorm. And that will be right after the flora begins to bloom. When I lived in the D.C. area, I could wear shorts and no ear coverings from February to October. My legs miss that. 🏖

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Can You See Me Now?

I dress by the Law O’ Clash, but Bow Tie o’ the Day and I are currently blending in with our outside environment. You can hardly find me in this photo, cuz I did so well dressing in white camouflage. I cause snow blindness. Yellow/gold Bow Tie adds the ultimate secret ingredient to my camo. Its color blends me in with the occasional spots o’ yellow snow Skitter and the other neighborhood pups leave behind on their daily missions. Am I a snow angel, or what?! 👼

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Snowy, Chilly Joy! And A Tux, Which I Don’t Own.

Bow Tie o’ the Day is brought to you by my lovely, tuxedo-ed penguin pal. One of the few things I like about erranding in the snow is that I get to wear my loud Sloggers boots. Ok, so they’re gardening boots. But they’re warm AND stylish. Who doesn’t want to see cows on pink boots? I was visiting Delta a while back and I forgot to take my church/funeral shoes, to attend church. I had only my purple, dog-print Sloggers. That was a fun meeting! 👟 ⛪

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Clean Pajamas And A Tie! And A Beanie For My Cold Ears!

Floppy Kentucky Bow Tie o’ the Day persuaded me to at least change into a fresh pair of sleepwear this evening. I couldn’t wear ‘Links o’ the Day, cuz I haven’t yet found pajama sleeves with cufflink buttonholes. I’m showing you these ‘links to hint about what I’ve been doing. Mostly, I’ve worked my little iPhone to its bare chips and bytes, by answering emails, texts, and calls. This way, I can pretend I accomplished tasks from my honey-do list, on a Pajama Day. 📱 📞

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Finally! Snow Is Dancing Down On Us!

Bow Tie o’ the Day is covered in sorta kinda snowflake-looking flowers. Bow Tie declared a Pajama Day, and I’m not arguing. Although I’m not a fan of participating in any outdoor activity when it’s cold, I admit it’s thrilling to watch snow fall. Bow Tie and I sit in front of our tall windows, and we feel all dreamy, optimistic, and mellow. FYI This photo proves I felt obligated to create this post before I took time to get rid of my eye booger. I’m dedicated.

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I’m Teed Off That I Feel Yucky

This evening’s Tie o’ the Day brings us a hip golfer. I don’t have a tidbit or tale to tell about it. I simply haven’t felt up to snuff all day, and I haven’t got the oomph to write even a small guffaw in this post. But I still wanted to grace you with a second, lush Tie o’ the Day to gaze upon. I’m sure I’ll be back to sarcasm and snark tomorrow. ☹️