Month: January 2018

Wooden Bow Tie o’ the Day is the perfect mix of bow tie and mustache. Found a dude in Kearns who makes wooden bow ties. I picked up a couple of ’em yesterday. Told him we’re destined to become friends, cuz I’ve decided his whole catalog will eventually be in my collection. He told me he knew a guy who had about 500 bow ties, and wore one every day. I said, “That guy is an amateur collector!” Showed dude a photo of my collection. He agreed.

My ties have bigly  compassion. For example, Tie o’ the Day wants to doctor up my Hanky Panky boo-boo a bit. Band-Aids fix many things, but not a painful pancreas. It’s the thought that counts though, right? So Tie does help, even if it doesn’t help. Bandage Tie dotes on me. Suzanne would rather I make an appointment with my pancreas specialist, and I suppose I should. Suzanne likes my herd of ties, but she doesn’t trust ties with my life, like I always do. 🌡👩‍⚕️👨‍⚕️

Short Tie o’ the Day and I are still in my pajamas. See that little white smudge on my sleeve? It’s evidence I ate ice cream for breakfast. I have no idea how ice cream got on my sleeve. Thank goodness it didn’t get on Tie. The small tie is cuz I’m weak from lifting a bunch of storage bins yesterday. I’m not supposed to lift anything because of my Hanky Panky (pancreas), but I do. I defy my Ties, or Suzanne, to stop me. 🏋️‍♀️

This afternoon, I erranded with CTR Tie o’ the Day and CTR Lapel Pin. In the past, I’ve been “gently” confronted while wearing CTR duds and jewelry. Apparently, some people pass judgment that I’m mocking the CTR idea. They think I’m being sacrilegious/disrespectful to the LDS Church. Are you serious? Most people of any religious or political persuasion seek to live the value/concept of choosing the right. Sometimes it can be, however, quite puzzle-some to figure out what the right thing is. That’s the bigly trick. 🤔

No, it’s not Colonel Sanders. It’s me and String Tie o’ the Day. Ever since we admitted our cheating-on-spelling-tests-in-3rd-Grade sin, I’ve felt like confessing my current cheating scandal. At ROSS every Tuesday, they have Tuesday Club, where if you’re at least 55, you get 10% off. One Tuesday, a check-out clerk asked if I was in the club. If I look 55 at 53, I might as well join. But I feel guilty. Some weeks I use the discount. Some weeks, when I feel especially guilty about it, I don’t.

Bow Ties o’ the Day got in on this morning’s spelling action. Mr. Frandsen was my spelling teacher in 3rd Grade. I can’t remember how I cheated, but my conscience remembers I cheated on a couple of his spelling tests. Never got caught. But I still feel guilty about it. I sharpened up the speller in my brain for my 4th Grade spelling tests. Never misspelled a word all year in Mrs. Knight’s class. My cursive sucked. Amazingly, my words were decipherable to her. 📝

Ties o’ the Day do whatever I ask. They know I’d never ask them to do anything dangerous. I, on the other hand, had to climb a rickety ladder to take this photo. But Ties can spell, eh? I taught in an inner-city middle school in Baltimore in the 90’s. One day in class, I walked past a student writing “Ms. Wright is a BICH” on her desk. I calmly added the “T” with my pencil and went on my way. Spelling counts, y’all!

Tiny pink Tie o’ the Day attached itself to this metal cowboy boot-shaped ashtray on a sidewalk in Lake Tahoe, when we vacationed there in October. Yup, that’s the trip we took with Suzanne’s parents for a week. And we all survived, still loving each other. I believe this is the same Tie o’ the Day I was wearing when we lost all our money at a casino there— not when we played the slots, but because we bought two bottles of casino Diet Pepsi.

Pipe-covered Tie o’ the Day is helping me write POETRY this morning. We are sitting at my WRITING DESK in my WRITING OFFICE in the LOFT. I’m wearing my WRITER’S CARDIGAN with its PROFESSORIAL ELBOW PATCHES. And I’m getting ready to light up my WRITER’S CIGAR. My WRITER’S CUP O’ COFFEE is making coffee rings on my WRITING DESK. Doesn’t that all sound snooty? Okay. I neither smoke nor drink coffee. But it’s fashionable to look like a stereotypical writer-character in a movie. 🖋 🗒 ✏️

Tie o’ the Day is a perfect example of how ties can help us in our times of need. If you can’t find your scarf, grab a tie. I selected a perfect tie for my writer self! I’m old school when it comes to writing early drafts of whatever project I’m working on, so I write mostly in notebooks. But I am inseparable from the laptop too. I never learned to type, but I can hunt-and-peck my words with the best o’ the hunters-and-peckers. 💻 🐔