Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
I went to grab the mail, and one of my neighbors drove by. (She’s Rocko the Toddler’s mom. I know the names of neighbor-kids and neighbor-pets, but not their parents’ names. That’s how I roll.) I waved to Rocko’s mom, but she was clutching her throat. I thought the poor woman was choking. Nope. That was her way of saying YOU FORGOT TO WEAR A TIE! How embarrassing! It’s cool that my neighbors know my tie ways. Yet Rocko’s mom probably doesn’t know my name either.
Bow Tie o’ the Day is a set of beauti-luscious cufflinks Suzanne won’t buy me for my birthday. My birthday isn’t until March, and she’s claiming she can’t save enough $$ for them. Blah, blah, blah. Really, though, if she cared about what I want, she’d sell her car or mortgage the house to buy ’em for me. The ad says the shipping is even free, so that keeps the cost down. What I don’t understand? You purchase a teeny, $18,800. item, and they don’t gift-wrap? 🎁 💸
Bow Ties o’ the Day agreed to do me a favor by covering my “wounds.” You know how it is: you did something that your spouse isn’t gonna like—like maybe you over-spent your monthly tie budget. You have plenty o’ ‘splainin’ to do. That’s when you’ve gotta distract your person from your crime. Sympathy is a good go-to. If you already have a boo-boo, make a big deal out of your pain. If not, wear Bow Bandages anyway. Pretend. And milk it. 🤕 🤥 🥛
Love me my Bow Tie o’ the Day! The solid purple of the back bow frames the front bow perfectly. My rubber ducky cufflinks are enamored of Bow Tie as well. If it weren’t for y’all, I wouldn’t even have gotten dressed today. I haven’t had to set foot outside the house. The weather’s gucky. The cupboards are full. I might as well have declared a Pajama Day for myself. But then you wouldn’t have gotten to see Bow Tie and Rubber Duckies o’ the Day. 👻
You might be curious as to why the Ties/Bow Ties o’ the Day post twice per day, although the website is called TIE (singular) O’ THE DAY. The short answer is that it was requested by a couple of followers who wanted two pieces of neckwear and two guffaws per day, instead of just one. It didn’t take much arm-twisting to persuade me to write commentary on two photos daily. Blame those avid website readers if you feel inundated by me and the tie collection. 🤡
Tie o’ the Day has helped me outdo my fashion self today. This ensemble of paisley on paisley, with peacock suspenders, shows itself to be a clashic display of my style. Paisley both clashes with and matches everything. Polka dots do the same. You will not fail at looking hip and groove-tastic if you’re wearing either or both of those fabric patterns. When I’m out in the world (among my fans) I like to make people notice my outfit, smile at it, then ignore me completely. 😎
Last night I wore my Colonel Sanders Tie o’ the Day to bed, in order to dream of rodeos, horse racing, and wild horses on the West desert. When I was in my dreamy kidhood, I often went out West with Dad and Grant Crane to wrangle wild horses. I loved to watch the horses run with equine joy. Dad once owned a race horse that had a penchant for leading in every race, but somehow managing to finish last. You could bet on it. 💸 🏇
I’m gonna pretend this gnome, underneath his beard, is wearing a bow tie that looks just like this Bow Tie o’ the Day. My Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless cultivates a wondrous gnome garden, and I got this fellow for her to plant. This little guy, holding a littler guy reminds me of Dad. He’s wearing overalls (suspenders really), a tan work shirt, reading glasses, and that handsome beard. Whenever Dad held a baby, he didn’t hear or see anyone except that tiny being. 👶
I’m in my “get your hairs cut” Tie o’ the Day, cuz my hairdresser, Miss Tiffany, slayed my hairs. She loves it when I wear hairs cuttin’ Tie. Suzanne wants my part an inch lower on my shaved side, so that’s how it will be. What it means though is that I will have two parts on my head until that inch o’ hair grows out enough to be combed to the other side. That patch o’ fur will be hilarious for me to sport. Yay! 💇
Tie o’ the Day is a slick slice of sorta Art Deco. And its orange hues represent the whole “orange” section of the bigly big CRAYOLA crayons box. But the real WHOA of this photo has to be my red racing car cufflinks. I’ve been pondering how to show off my cuff jewelry. I can’t snap a selfie with only one hand, so I was stymied as to how to get my links into the pics. This is one of my solutions. Bling gotta bling, baby!