Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Tie o’ the Day and I hoped Mom would join us in our photo, but she’s still conked out. And snoring. Our Cufflinks o’ the Day are mega. They weigh a half-pound each. We’re headed to SLC, the metropolis, to my appointment 🏋️♀️ with my pain doc. If we’re accosted by a mugger, I can use Cufflinks like brass knuckles! My visits to the pain doc go like this: Doc says, HOW’S YOUR PAIN? I say, SAME. She says, SEE YOU NEXT MONTH! 👩⚕️ Helpful.
Bow Ties o’ the Day, along with me and Skitter, are absolutely vibrating with excitement about Mom showing up to crash with us for a few days. We and Bow Ties cannot sit still for even a few seconds of nicely posing for a clear photograph. We’re shakin’ and shimmyin’ and cartwheelin’ out of love for Mom. She seems to have this effect on people who know her, whether she’s bringing them homemade treats, or not. But especially when she’s cooked up fattening goodies. 🍪
Check out my bigly blinged-out cufflinks. Tie o’ the Day and I are heading south to pick up Mom. We get to entertain her for a few days. I doubt she and her healing hip will be dancing like Tie’s hula girls, cuz she doesn’t wanna break her other hip. Mom has been known to dance what she calls “a jig” to make us laugh. She has no rhythm, and that has always made for hilarity. But it’s never kept her from dancing her joy. 💃
Floppy Bow Tie o’ the Day is a houndstooth eye-popper. It’s being sorta matchy, with Shirt o’ the Day’s houndstooth fabric pattern. They match. They don’t match. Whatever. They both grab the eyeballs’ attention. And the happy Cufflinks o’ the Day give us green apples. I managed to travel to and fro, through three Wasatch Front counties on errands today. I was complimented on my fashion twice. My duds were smiled/grinned at over a dozen times. I’ll count all those acknowledgments as at least 14 LIKES. 👍
Can’t get my ears warm. Shirt o’ the Day is a late X-mas gift from Suzanne the Educator. Tie o’ the Day is right on target. I played darts in Ireland. One time. It took only one dart drawing blood from my noggin to make it clear I was a threat to myself and others. I think it’s as important to find out what our limits are as to find and develop our talents. I’ve learned that not all weaknesses can/need be turned into strengths. 🎯
Hey! I dared make a real candy Bow Tie o’ the Day. It’s the craftiest craft I’ve crafted in my loooooong life. It actually resembles a bow tie! The best thing about homemade Bow Tie is I can eat the pb M&M’s when I’m done wearing it. Having to then make a replacement bow tie is a dandy excuse for buying more candy, which I’ll likewise munch. And thus, the Circle o’ Candy Bow Tie Life continues on— until I’m fat, hyperglycemic, and candy bow tie-less.
I’ve told you I eat weird things for breakfast. This morning I can’t decide what to eat. Tie and Bow Tie o’ the Day tout two possibilities. Do I build the tossed salad? Or open the peanut M&M’s? I hate to favor one food over the other, or one piece o’ neckwear over the other. You know, of course, what I’m obligated to feast on right now. In order to keep the peace, and to not hurt any feelings, I must eat both. 🥗 🍫
So it’s a Monday, and you’re kinda crabby, so you’re grumbling at the dog and at your own reflection in the window. You’re also hungry, but you don’t wanna cook, and you don’t wanna order a pizza or drive to a restaurant. You are about to give up on being jolly for even one minute today. And then… while you’re folding the laundry, two blessings stare up into your blue eyes: the Ties/Bow Ties o’ the Day boxers you sleep in. Where’s your grumpy now?! 🤗 👔 🎀
My pencils dress in Bow Ties o’ the Day to help me write. I planned to do a bunch of writing today, but the legal pad doesn’t lie. Me and Bow Ties are experiencing a severe bout of writer’s block. Sometimes it passes quickly. Sometimes I have to swear at my own congested head before the words start percolating into something sensical. I am not a cursin’ gal. But swearing can be kinda like praying: I do it in private, and I focus intensely on inspiration.
Skitter’s been going through boxes o’ papers, and she latched onto Bow Tie o’ the Day, which decorates the most perfect-for-me birthday card I’ve ever received— right down to its shirt and vest. Suzanne gave the card to me years ago. I think she knows me well. In fact, she probably knows me too well for my own good. In the final analysis, I’m quite easy to please. My needs are simple: books and ties take care of me. Steak is also necessary. 🐄 🍽