Day: January 20, 2018

Bow Tie o’ the Day is a set of beauti-luscious cufflinks Suzanne won’t buy me for my birthday. My birthday isn’t until March, and she’s claiming she can’t save enough $$ for them. Blah, blah, blah. Really, though, if she cared about what I want, she’d sell her car or mortgage the house to buy ’em for me. The ad says the shipping is even free, so that keeps the cost down. What I don’t understand? You purchase a teeny, $18,800. item, and they don’t gift-wrap? 🎁 💸

Bow Ties o’ the Day agreed to do me a favor by covering my “wounds.” You know how it is: you did something that your spouse isn’t gonna like—like maybe you over-spent your monthly tie budget. You have plenty o’ ‘splainin’ to do. That’s when you’ve gotta distract your person from your crime. Sympathy is a good go-to. If you already have a boo-boo, make a big deal out of your pain. If not, wear Bow Bandages anyway. Pretend. And milk it. 🤕 🤥 🥛