Month: November 2017

My Tie o’ the Day and I were naughty. We went to ROSS, hoping to add to our Christmas collection o’ ties. Yes, now I’ll be wearing four pieces of neckwear daily, through the holidays. Anyhoo…this sprite’s family was ahead of me in the check-out line. I asked the matriarch if her daughter and head bow could guest star on the website. After I showed her the website, she laughed, and she was game for her daughter to model her way into stardom. 👶 🎀 🛒

I’m wearing a patriotic, flag-bearing Santa Tie o’ the Day. The North Pole is not in the USA. Oh, well. Red Tie o’ the Day reminds us it’s time to hoist up our X-mas trees, if we haven’t already. Since 1st Grade, I have wondered why the Utah State Tree is the COLORADO Blue Spruce. When I asked my 1st Grade teacher about that, she told Mom she thought I was probably retarded. My IQ is 152, so maybe I’m an “idiot savant.” I dunno. Maybe. 🎄 🇱🇷

Our sweater-looking Tie o’ the Day depicts a be-sweatered deer drinking beer. My kind of deer! I put down my beer bottles a decade ago. I’d like to say I don’t miss drinking, but I do. I miss it every day, many times a day. The bottles on Tie are red and white, so let’s pretend they’re Diet Cokes. That’s what I guzzle now. But my soda pop burps are not as dramatic as my historic beer burps. Those noises were artistic wonders. 🍺 🎧

Tie o’ the Day is covered in holiday greenery and classic ornaments: Christmas tree balls. I love these classics most of all. And I like balls, in general. Sports balls, of course. And there’s Cinderella’s ball. And cotton balls. And cheese balls. And disco balls. Mom’s favorite balls belonged to our late dachsie, Vincent D’OGnofrio. They amused her to no end. Whenever Vinnie sped by the porch, she’d say, “His balls are so cute!” I should have painted them red and green for her for Christmas.

Tie o’ the Day is not hidden somewhere in this photograph. There are few excuses I accept from myself for not wearing or displaying a tie o’ some kind. But when I let the dogs out to potty yesterday morning, I saw this sunrise while standing on the patio. I actually forgot about ties for a brief time. I just stood there in my pj’s, in shock and gratitude. Hey, you don’t take time to grab a tie before you snap a pic like this. ☀️

My bro-in-law, Gary, is a helpful hubby. He currently has three wives. I and Suzanne are wives #2 and #3. I made this T-shirt years ago, to show off how proud I am to be his wife. I earned him because he’s always been handyman at the Delta house, and he’s been mechanic on our various autos. Ties o’ the Day depict Santa and his dear deer pal fishing for fish wearing Santa hats. This could be my hubby, a master fisherman. He owes me some trout. 🐟

Don’t mention anything to my dogs about this, but I occasionally wear clothing covered with cats. Here, Tie o’ the Day shows you its partying Yule kitties. Things like this make my dog-kids jealous. I promise them I’m not in the market for cat-kids. Still, to quell their jealousy, I wear my cat wardrobe mostly when I’m out of the house. Don’t misunderstand me. I kinda like cats. The feral kind especially. I can watch ’em kill mice without having to clean anything up. 🐭 🐱

Ties o’ the Day indicate that my sweet tooth is itching for Christmas candy. I’m craving Mom’s sugary, buttery treats, but peppermint candies will have to suffice. I call peppermint confections Christmas Breaths. People should have Christmas breath all year. Let’s face it, folks: breath mints and deodorant are necessities. They’re part of the social contract that we must fulfill in order to live in peace and tranquility in a civilized society with other beings. In other words, don’t stink around people and ties. 🍬 👃

When your goal is to wear at least three Ties o’ the Day for a month, you have to tie them hither and yon and on any old wherever you can find. A cowboy hat dripping with ties always adds interest to any selfie. If my wearin’ o’ the ties ain’t amusing to me, my wearin’ o’ the ties ain’t amusing to anyone. BTW I wish I had antlers so I could string Christmas lights on them, like our tie deer has done. 🦌

Got my Delta Centennial lapel pin. Got swell black and white clash going on with my jacket and shirt. The clashiness works successfully in clash fashion’s required “works-because-it-doesn’t-work” way. Jacket is off to D.I. tomorrow, as per Suzanne’s orders. Bow Tie o’ the Day depicts icons of the movie, CHRISTMAS VACATION. Check out the moose eggnog glasses, Santa-hatted Clark, the fresh-cut Christmas tree atop the station wagon, a couple of outdoor Christmas light bulbs, and the squirrel. 🐿 🎄 💡