Month: May 2017

Tie o’ the Day #1 makes my neck crawl a bit. It is a solid, black velvet little critter from H & M. It feels quite odd to wear such a low-key bow tie. But I have done it on occasion, and I’m certain I will again–but rarely and rarely.

And yes, I’m in a wild hat again. This one is for summer, especially for the beach. I haven’t been to the ocean for years, so the Reservoir has been a small-scale substitute. Trust me, the beaches of the Res and the Atlantic Ocean do not resemble each other one iota. And please don’t bring up the nudist beach I went to once in Rehoboth, Delaware. I have tblogged about it in the past, but tblogging about it once was enough. I do have to confess that my adventure at that beach was stupendously, bigly fun. I’m sure the enormous cooler of beer we had with us was what gave me the courage to strip down. And I’m pretty sure I won’t be doing that scene again, cuz I don’t partake of that kind of liquid sacrament anymore. I guess that’s one more positive thing about not drinking.🍺

Shirt is from IZOD. Hat is from KBETHOS.

Tie o’ the Day #2 (a Stacy Adams) heard that The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is going out of business forever. Tie’s been bawling its eyes completely dry all day. You see, Tie has always had the dream of becoming a trapeze artist with that circus. Tie wants to  fly through the air, with the proverbial greatest of ease. I managed to snap this photo of Tie practicing its trapeze artistry in the laundry room. From clothes hanger to clothes hanger to clothes hanger, Tie continues to swing–with tears a’cloudin’ its eyes–with spectacular dignity and grace, despite the fact that The Greatest Show on Earth is kaput. Even Tie o’ the Day’s dreams sometimes come crashing down. And to Tie, I’m positive it feels like there is no safety net. Pobrecito. 😭

Tie o’ the Day #1 (a Stacy Adams bow tie) enjoys playing with the mutts, and so it hopped into the bone-shaped dog toy bin, awaiting discovery by our very own Roxy. Skitter has no interest in dog toys whatsoever. Go figure.

Roxy, on the other hand, has to pull each one of her squeak toys out of the bone ASAP every day. She has a weird habit of putting all of the squeak critters into her food dish, where she licks them as she hoovers her food. As a bonus, she then drops one of the toys into her water dish, where it drowns ominously.(Please don’t lick or drown Tie o’ the Day, Roxy.) My theory about this behavior is that Roxy thinks the squeaks are her puppies, and this is how she feeds and waters them. Whatever, Roxy. 🐶🤷🏻‍♀️

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tie and I drove over 300 miles today. This moving from one house and into another requires lots of time and gas and driving. So tired Tie is napping and can’t even wake up for me to take a photo. So Tie o’ the Day is offering up a church ensemble from last year. Church bow tie is a happy specimen. Note the frilly lapel pin as well. And you can see that I desperately needed one side of my hairs cut.

 

So I’m working at my computer desk….just working…working…writing… Suddenly, I smell cigar smoke and hear some jazzy bar music, and so I turn around to my other desk to find out what’s happening. What do my eyes see? Bow Tie o’ the Day has created a stripper pole and is stripping for the rowdy crowds! This bow tie is gonna get a talking to, you can bet on that. I did not raise any of my ties to be exhibitionists, no matter how good the tips might be. (BTW Roxy is Tie’s bodyguard.)

I put on my DOCKERS bicycle tie today, with a BRUNO shirt, and, lo and behold, my fedora makes me look like a gangster or Indiana Jones. But really it’s just a rainy day, and fedoras are the best for protecting you from raindrops when going out into the world to do your household errands. And it looks very cool. And groovy, as well. The tie is something Mormon missionaries could wear, I think, if they are riding their bikes around to proselytize .

One evening when I lived in Virginia, I had to dash to the grocery store for milk  (and a 12-pack). In the store, the bakery was closing up and selling whatever was left for half off. The missionaries were buying bakery items. Good for them and their thrift. Anyhoo…As I was getting in my car with my groceries, the two missionaries passed me on their bikes. Each had one hand on the handlebars. With the other hand, each was balancing an entire fancy, frosted cake. Funny as could be. Starving missionaries on a mission to convert sugar. Into nutrition.

Of course, I had to yell something. “Brothers, remember that the Word of Wisdom stresses moderation.” And then I added, “Go, BYU!”

Tie o’ the Day #2 brings you some evening clash fashion: optical illusions, fluorescent paisley, and downright explosive fashion chaos for the eyes. I must admit that my favorite outfits are the ones that make the least sense. 🌪

An ex of mine once told me my thinking was chaotic and messy and not linear. What? You mean I don’t think in a straight line? I thought I was being complimented on my creative propensities. Turns out, NOPE. That should explain why one day I zig-zaggedly packed a suitcase with all my notebooks and flew about thirty states away from my ex. My outside-the-lines thinking and I plopped back down in Utah, where there is enough room to create messy, nonlinear word-art. 📝  🖍 🔏 📓

TTMIT ALERT! But the best thing: My sidewinder thinking also won me back my first and last flame. All’s right with the world.😍

Roxy is Tie o’ the Day’s guest star this morning. Note that she is tie-less. Kinda. Boxy Roxy can’t always wear a tie. Sometimes her neckwear has to be a shock collar, which we have dubbed The Collar of Shame.

Roxy has a problem with yapping at EVERYTHING. But don’t worry about the shocking effects of the collar. I took the battery out of it soon after we bought it for her, cuz after the first couple of zaps, I simply couldn’t bear the thought of even the tiniest shock on her sweet neck. Just putting the battery-less gadget on her keeps her barking fits in line. When I put the Collar of Shame around her ample neck, she quiets down and hangs her head in contrition. I don’t make her wear it very long, and she gets the point.

I have no doubt that Suzanne would like to put a battery in The Collar of Shame and wrap it around my neck sometimes. And I’m positive I would deserve every last shock, until the battery wears itself out and she has to replace it with another.

This ‘fit was my attire for my Pub crawl last night. (Can you do a pub crawl when there is only one pub in town? I think YUP.) Aside from my usual Diet Coke, the drinks on this tank and bow tie are the only drinks I sat with at my table. (Yes, I sat alone at my table last night, writing another million-dollar poem.)

Ah, the days of impeccable beer in red Solo cups, and fancy mixed drinks! It makes me nostalgic. But not nostalgic enough to wanna take up that kind of drinking again. Let me just say that when I drank, I was superb at it. But sometimes we need to change even the things at which we excel. I think realizing what we need to change is called growing up, and growing up means we have achieved a slice of wisdom.

There. How’s that for a church lesson about teetotalling, on this blue-skied, bird-chirping Sabbath morn? And BTW, there is no church bow tie this morning, cuz I sort of kind of slept in and didn’t make it to church. Oops!

Roxy says it all. Tonight’s Tie o’ the Day post is sponsored by the letter Z, as in zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. As in “catch some z’s.” Even the ties and bow ties and bolos are tucked in bed. G’night, my tbloglodytes. 🛌