Month: May 2017

Guess who had to pee out in the middle of nowhere when we were driving north from Delta toward Tooele earlier? I beckoned Tie o’ the Day #1 to go potty right before we got in the car to head out o’ town, but I’m certain y’all know how well ties listen to orders. Boy, it is bigly convenient that there are millions of bushes and trees all along our travel route. Who knew Tie could even squat?! 🐇🐄🦌🦃🐑

 

Tie o’ the Day #1 accompanied me and my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless on a quick Salt Lake City adventure today. Tie couldn’t get enough of The Temple! We attended a stupendous LDS Business College Devotional at Assembly Hall. The speaker was Bishop Travis R. Blackwelder–my nephew, and son of Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless. He da man!🎩

Tie o’ the Day #2 continues our stars-and-stripes theme o’ the day. What I like most about every holiday is that each holiday gives us an excuse to be dopey in our fashion choices. That’s how I justify all my celebratory fashion ensembles. 👙👗🙀

Tie o’ the Day #1 is a trooper. While I was sleeping in, this patriotic little piece of neckwear went out to the porch and put up our flag for this Memorial Day. I’m so proud o’ my ties. Their hearts are pure. And their freedom is precious to them. 🇺🇸

Even church bow Tie o’ the Day (a Stacy Adams piece) knows it’s the asparagus time o’ year. So after church this morning, we hauled out to farm country to traipse the banks of irrigation ditches, in search of this fine food. Tie loves to pick its own fresh asparagus. To hell with that store-bought stuff. Tie also likes to make jokes about how your pee smells after eating the asparagus. Tie is so immature. 🤡

Tie o’ the Day #2 (from Bow Tie Tuesday) is covered in mustaches. Sorry, I got them a bit blurry in the photo, but they really are mustaches. I decided that since I was wearing a tie o’ mustaches, it would look suave to wear a Panama hat. And it does present a swell picture. The cherry on top of the outfit, though, is the cigar I’m pretending to smoke. I guess lighting the cigar would make it better for the photo, and for actual smoking. But since I don’t smoke, I guess an unlit cancer stick is best for me and my bow tie. 🚬

This bee-covered CHAPS (Bow) Tie o’ the Day #1 is enamored with these plastic lovebirds, which hang in a cage crafted by my Dad’s mom–the late, great, elegant Momo.  I felt this was a sign that I needed to have The Talk with all the ties and bow ties, so we have been having a little discussion about the in’s and out’s (no pun intended😉) of the birds and the bees. They have been paying rapt attention, cuz–let’s face it–it’s an interesting subject.

In case you want to craft this artistic piece, note that the cage materials include hangers, styrofoam, plastic flowers, and tulle (net fabric). And don’t forget the plastic lovebirds. Momo sure did know her craft stuff.✂️

(Bow) Tie o’ the Day managed to get away from me for a couple of minutes while we were watching the news at The Pub this evening. Tie managed to wrangle a patron into a game of darts, which ultimately resulted in this tiny WARDROBE MALFUNCTION. Thus, Tie experienced a minor injury, but a bigly major embarrassment. No more 🍻for any o’ my ties, bow or otherwise. Got🥛?

Now I get to be pampered. Tie o’ the Day #1 is chauffeuring me around, giving me a break from all the driving I do. Amazingly, Tie can drive a stick! Such talent. Note the ripped driver’s seat, and the inch of dust everywhere in the cab. When you have an old truck which you drive on gravel roads, you must NEVER clean the truck–inside or out. It is sacrilegious to have a clean truck in the desert. I don’t know how well my truck will fit in up here in the big city, but I’m still not gussy-ing it up. On the inside of the passenger window, you can still see nose smudges from the dog of my life, Araby. And Araby left the earth four years ago. I will never clean that window, no matter what. And I will never sell my ancient truck–because of Araby’s window. 🐶

Tie o’ the Day #2 (a pierre cardin) makes it clear: I am obsolete! Tie seems to be trying to overthrow me as the creator and author o’ TIE O’ THE DAY. And on top of that, Tie is a better typist than I am! But hey, I can share. I play well with others. And I play especially well with neckwear. So I guess if Tie wants to make a tblog post every so often, I can be down with that. It’s all good in the tie-hood. 👒