Month: April 2017

Tie o’ the Day #2 (from Cape Cod Neckwear) has spent the entire evening on the stairs, pretending to be a Slinky. Up, down, up down. For hours. The mutts played along with Tie for quite a while before they tuckered themselves out and went to bed. Finally, I had to send my lariat flying, in order to lasso the faux Slinky. I had to hogtie the darn thing just to get it to brush its teeth and go to bed. Whew! I’m exhausted. Time for me to pack it in for the night, myself.

Toodles, until tomorrow, folks. More mutinous ties to come.🤡

Tie o’ the Day #1 tied one on last night. This disheveled sight is what I found this morning when I went searching for the first Tie o’ the Day. Look at it: sleeping in, in a drunken stupor. The shame of it! Bad tie! (Also, observe the swell mustache pillowcase Suzanne made me. I’m spoiled.)

Speaking of being bad…On the I’m-trying-to-be-good subject…I do try very hard to be on The Good Side, in terms of my daily interactions with the world. Yesterday, as I was going through some files, I discovered the paperwork and certificate that designates me as minister in the Progressive Universal Life Church. I had forgotten I am a real Reverend. About a decade ago, I went online and became one for around $20. Yes, it’s real and legal.

I became a minister as a form of protest, before gay marriage was legal. As a minister,  I could legally “marry” straight couples, as in perform and make legal their marriages. But I could not “marry” my partner I’ve lived with for decades. It was a quiet kind of protest, but I made my point. Small things matter, even in the scheme of bigly, humongous things.

Now I have to find an appropriate spot in the house to hang my official Reverend certificate. And if you know of anyone seeking a minister to hitch them, I’m available. I will, of course, wear a Tie o’ the Day when I officiate at the ceremony.👔

 

 

 

Hello, tblog pals! Tie o’ the Day is a bow with matching puff-folded pocket square, from the designers at IZOD. Shirt is by Carbon. It sports a water-water-everywhere-and-not-a-drop-to-drink theme.

When I hear the islands call to me, of course I think of Gilligan’s Island and that 3-hour tour gone awry. And that makes me think of these terms: “deserted island,” “desert island,” and “dessert island.” (Utah’s own Antelope Island could be called a “Deseret island,” don’t ya think?))

Me? I vote for being stranded on a dessert island, surrounded by lemon bars, chocolate chip cookies, banana cream pie, and Mom’s toffee. And surrounded by DIRECTV, as well. I must have plenty o’ crime shows to watch while I consume the multitude of sugar-packed desserts which will surround me on such a yummy island–24/7. And 365.

Suzanne declared me DAPPER after I put this outfit together. (Note that “dapper” is a much under-utilized word.) I tend to choose to believe compliments Suzanne sends my way. I know she is biased in my favor, but a tip o’ the compliment hat just plain makes me feel giddy as I meander through my day.

Tie o’ the Day up above is a Nicole Miller. Hula dancer shirt is a Sonoma. Hip hat is from Quicksilver.

The above title says we are “preppers.” We are not preppers in the apocalyptic, world-is-about-to-end, everybody-should-have-a-bomb-shelter, the-government’s-comin’-to-take-our-guns-away kind of way. Nope,  we’re prepping for our Deltassippi yard sale next weekend. That’s the reason for Tie o’ the Day’s complete absence yesterday AND for its tardiness today. Please forgive Tie o’ the Day. We hate to let you down. We know you miss us bigly when we disappear. We hate to disappoint your curiosity, so trust that we will do better.

Anyhoo… With all this yard sale prep, we’ve been making a mess all over the house by sorting, bagging, boxing, dusting off, and categorizing. And we’ve actually stumbled on to a few items we didn’t even know we owned.

We did take a break from our sale preparations this afternoon when Suzanne was faint with hunger and wanted breakfast (for lunch) at The Rancher. After we ate, we visited Suzanne’s favorite amusement park in D-ville: Mom’s Crafts–where she gleefully touches every bolt of material, every spool of thread, and every skein of yarn.

What a trip to Mom’s Crafts means for me is that I drop Suzanne off in the parking lot, and head out on my own for a couple of hours. She’s supposed to text me when she’s ready for me to fetch her. The text never comes to me though, no matter how long I wait. Inevitably, I just give up and decide when to drive back to Mom’s Crafts. When I enter the store, the clerk is usually in the midst of measuring and cutting Suzanne’s bountiful haul. Suzanne then drags me around the store to see this, that, and it.  No matter when I show up to chauffeur her away, she is still not finished in the place. She will miss it bigly when we aren’t residents here anymore.

But hey, our already busy day was not yet done. We bought a new lawnmower at ACE. (We will sell said new mower at the final yard sale we throw here, so we don’t have to drag it to Centerville. Even though we are divesting ourselves of our Delta stuff, when you need a lawnmower, you need a lawnmower. You deal with it.) Well, Heck Tate, Suzanne immediately mowed The Beach House lawn, which more closely resembled an over-grown field before The Big Mow. How long did it take her? 3 sweaty hours. That’s right. She mowed the entire thing twice. We are lucky that she loves to mow the lawn. (She loves it almost as much as she loves using her glue gun. You should see how her face beams when I ask her if she will glue gun something for me. There is no emoji that remotely captures the happy happy, joy joy on her visage when a glue gun is in the vicinity.)

And finally, tbloglodites, let me add this tidbit about the D-ville lawn: If it weren’t for weeds, we’d have no lawn at all.😉

Tie o’ the Day #2 is a Croft & Barrow, covered in a garden of perky flora. I got this Bugatchi shirt off the clearance rack at Nordstrom Rack today, while Suzanne was finding cool duds off other the clearance racks. I mention this little shopping trip because it is destined to be known as That Time I Bought A Button-down That “Fits” Me. Well, it fits the way “they” say a shirt should fit a woman, including the spot where “June is busting’ out all over…”. (A ditty from Carousel, tblogophiles.) You know, that entire cleavage-y stuff.😮

I’m sorry, people. I can’t bear to wear the “right” size. The shirt’s got a purty pattern, in purty colors. It has a bit of a batik edge going for it in spots. In fact, I’d say it is a lovely shirt, and its fabulosity achieves greatness while paired with this tie. I am also told that the shirt is flattering to my saggy, ancient frame.

But I can’t move around in the gall-durn thing without Incredibly Hulking out of the shoulders. And I’m also afraid a button or two might shoot somebody’s eye out if they suddenly pop off and become projectiles. I might as well be dressed in a loaded gun! So back to the clearance rack at Nordstrom Rack, it goes– the first thing in the morning.

I tried so hard to fit in by wearing a ‘fit that fits. Alas, I guess I gotta keep going big in my bigly attire. 🤔

(Bow) Tie o’ the Day #1 is a nifty plaid IZOD, and it sorta almost kinda but-not-really matches the orange cassette tape on the retro Gap t-shirt. It’s too cold today to wear just a tee, so I’m throwing a heavy denim carhartt over it.

I used to make “mix/mixed tapes” for Mercedes Rae, and I would sneak songs on ’em by Madonna–which recording artist she had long vowed to never spend a dime on. Well, she never did. Nope, Mercedes Rae left it for me to buy the cd’s and to finance Madonna’s career, while she reaped the free benefits of a few groovy Madonna songs. I’m going to Hell for supporting a morally questionable singer, while Mercedes is going to Heaven cuz she was only an unwitting victim of my song choices.

FYI  Check out the tblog’s ALERTS! page. I have added two more “scary food” photos, for your viewing pleasure.😊

Greetings from Tie o’ the Day #1. We are bolo-ing today. A string tie always pleases the eye. This one in particular creates a bigly suave-itality, coupled as it is with this Levi’s California shirt. Dig the white/bright white horizontal stripes. And I like the white snaps that finish off the ensuing snappiness of this ‘fit.

The roadrunner depicted on the bolo brings to mind an early Rowan anecdote (not “antidote”, as many mistakenly say). When he was learning the art of telling  jokes, he and I were throwing jokes back and forth to amuse each other, and he came up with this gem: “Why did the chicken cross the road?” “To get hit by a school bus!” That was funny and odd enough, but he continued with further chicken-crossing-the-road jokes. Each time the answer was the same, but with various creatures substituted for the chicken. Parakeets, skunks, porcupines, etc. Rowan has an extremely sensitive soul, so I didn’t worry about his somewhat morbid jokes. But I certainly recall what a great time we had laughing our gutty guts out that day.

Oh, the nostalgia we work ourselves into about when our kids were young and learning to navigate the world. (As if we all don’t have to keep learning to navigate this world. 😲😱)

We all have them, you know–those questions that zap us out of our sleep ’round midnight, keeping us from rest. And then they slog around pestering our exhausted brains and bodies the next day. Yes, questions of existence, like What is our purpose? What’s the point of this entire ratty race? Why does Kim Kardashian think we care about her jewels? Mysteries like that.

Well, Tie o’ the Day #2, from Dockers, answers one of the most fundamental questions known to any of us: “What tie design goes perfectly with a red, green, and black, plaid pajama top?”

There is no doubt that the answer to that query is this: Purple paisley, on a dark blue background. Of course. Now you can cross that question off the list o’ things that burden your soul, for once and for all.

Just call it an early night. Throw on those pajamas, tie that tie on, grab the tv remote, and slither into bed.

Tie o’ the Day #2 is happy to have been of service to your heavy minds. Until it be morrow, my little tblogophiles😛

Got Penguin? Tie o’ the Day #1 is a Penguin. Quite stripey (The White Stripes?) below the baby blue. The polo here is from at least thirty years ago. Designer is Facconable. It should be clear to you by now that when I like a piece of clothing, there ain’t no gettin’ it away from me.

When I was a wee whippersnapper, we had this corner cupboard in the kitchen where a conglomerate of misfit clothing was kept by Mom. (The dead clothing cupboard was located to the north of “the junk drawer” everyone has in their kitchen for  small miscellaneous items of no discernible worth, but  which no one dares throw away for fear they might possibly, maybe, perhaps be the exact thing you need one day in the future.)

Anyhoo…  If I wore some piece of clothing that Mom deemed unacceptable, she never told me how she felt. The item would simply find its way into the depths of the never-ending corner cupboard, wadded up and pushed to the back of the bigly pile.

“Mom, where’s my FOXY WOMAN t-shirt?” She would casually say, “I dunno. It’s around her somewhere.” It took me a few months to figure out where my clothing was. I must have been in a mega-snoopy mood one day, cuz I finally discovered half of my wardrobe in that cupboard. Well, guess what I began wearing as often as I could, in order to taunt Mom? She never said a thing to me about it. That huge corner cupboard was just empty one day when I went to retrieve some more clothing. When my questionable clothes got “lost” again, all my Sherlock Holmes-ing in the world could not locate them.

My theory: The bigly metal can we burned our trash in behind the house had likely worked overtime at its cremating duties.

Tie o’ the Day #2 is, of course, a Stacy Adams creation, with matching pocket square. The yellow hues of lines, paisles, squares, and houndstooth  (houndsteeth?) give the tie a sweet visual pop, outward from the dusty goldenrod John Ashford long-sleeved button-down. Sometimes a girl just has to wear a solid-colored shirt, with a glimmering, multi-patterned tie.