Month: March 2017

 

 

Of course, I’m wearing a Bugatchi–but a short-sleeved one. That is a rare thing to find. Tie o’ the Day #2 comes from a superb company called BOW TIE TUESDAY. The name does a good job of conveying the company’s mission. Or is the name really a form of propaganda to make us into bow tie sheep? You have to excuse me: these days, I am confused by what qualifies as fact/lie/conspiracy/Jason Chaffetz/science, etc.

Check out my knee socks and fish-belly-white legs in the pic below. Ah, what a warm-weathery day it has been! But you know dang well we’ll have at least one snowstorm in May. And we’ve still got this month and April to shiver through.

Get ready for the yearly news coverage of orchard owners worrying about their buds freezing. Oh, I worry about their livelihoods too. And I love the fresh fruit. But the tv news coverage is exactly the same every year. They could replay the same footage and interviews annually. So why does this get my attention to the point of bugging me?

Most journalists don’t investigate what lies beneath the surface of the stories they are responsible for telling. That’s their job, and we are supposed to be able to trust they will do said job. You know, like tell us something we don’t already know. We worry about crops freezing, but nobody seems to worry about the orchard workers and their families freezing (or roasting in the summer). So many of these women and men and children (yes, kids too) work more than full-time, in all weather, and still live far below the poverty level. In their ranks, you can always see the homeless, the addicted, the undocumented, the uneducated–if you dare look. Think what you will about farm/dairy/orchard laborers. But don’t say they don’t work hard, trying to find safety and freedom in the infinite America that you and I simply fell into. You and I are nothing extra special. You and I were just born lucky.

Tie o’ the Day #1 is a flannel CHAPS cuz it was a little chilly when I got dressed this morning. I can’t explain why I was cold enough to need flannel, while it was warm enough to wear a beachy, short-sleeved shirt from CARBON.

The icons on the shirt get me all hepped up for summer. And summer means tank tops. At 53, am I too old to wear them? Of course! Am I going to stop wearing them? Heck Tate, no! I’ve collected them for decades, just like I have gathered my ties. I won’t become a crazy cat lady. I will be the crazy tie-with-a-tank lady. I will become one of those People of Walmart. I will be that old lady at Lagoon who inspires young whipper-snappers to say, “She’s too old to be wearing that”! And golly darn it, I will enjoy my roller coaster ride bigly, in the seat right in front of them.

Tie o’ the Day #1 is an olive Wembley bow. Shirt is a Kohl’s Sonoma. The clashin’ o’ the green is what we have here. Makes me happy.

Tie o’ the Day #2’s shirt is from Rue 21’s CARBON line. The green and lavender tie itself is an original, one-of-a-kind design by Suzanne. She did not come up with the idea to crochet me some ties: I begged her to do it for me. I told her, however, to be done with that assignment, after she had created the second crochet-tie. She told me right at the beginning of the endeavor that it wouldn’t really work, and I knew it wouldn’t. But Suzanne is so cute when her craft-for-Helen face comes over her. I make sure to convince her to craft for my own purposes whenever I can think of a project I happen to want. She’s a bigly sport about my whims.

EXHAUSTION ALERT!!! I was driving in the car, listening to Mom, for three hours straight today. There were absolutely no sounds of silence. She says she can’t catch her breath anymore, so she must be capable of speaking without breathing. I love Mom sooooo much. She is a legend. But she wears me out now with her same stories. Constant, same stories. And so I find myself sitting at my keyboard, too tired to type any more words tonight. I’m hoping I can sleep–outside of language.

Tie o’ the Day #1 is one of my most prized Stacy Adams ties. Its eye-popping green brightness overwhelms, especially when you see it in person. It is impossible to look away from it, just like how you can’t look away from puppies or a campfire. Shirt #1 is an Old Navy polo from a couple of years ago. It is labeled as a “Slim Fit”. I must admit that it now fits the hanger a bit better than it fits me and my shifting love handles.😃

So yesterday was Ward Conference in Bishop Travis’ ward. And it was rumored that he would be the main event. Of course, Anne had to make the pioneer trek to Provo to see her little boy in action, elucidating a bevy of gospel principles. Anne needed a chauffeur, and I always volunteer for that job, cuz guffaws automatically come with each mile. 😁😀😂😉😃

Anyhoo…Bishop Trav has a gifted way of presenting otherwise kinda boring stuff. He always leaves the listener wanting to learn more about the subject at hand, and to work harder to be a better human being. (And Trav doesn’t say “um” in his sermon-on-the-pulpit talks. I, um, hate when speakers, um, say “um”, every, um, other, um, word.)

Travis also manages to incorporate anecdotes about his John Stockton-esque/Michael Jordan-esque high school basketball moves into his talks.😅 Oh, and he always includes a TTMIT story about some thing or other his legendary mom has taught him. And his wife, Collette–well, she is one of the most fabuloso people I have had the good fortune to meet in my wild life. (Does having a “wild life” make me “wildlife”?)

Tie o’ the Day #2 is a green, gray, and black 14th & Union design. Shirt #2 is a comfy Croft & Barrow from Kohl’s.

HELEN, SR. ALERT! Tomorrow, I’m hauling Mom north to the big cities of C-ville and P-view for a few days. She is so happy to make the trip, she doesn’t even care that she’s not getting her hairs did this week. Now, THAT is saying something bigly!

Tie o’ the Day #’s 1 and 2. Church bow tie is a Nicole Miller. My after-church plaid tie is from Croft & Barrow. Wallow in a shift to new ties. I know I am.

And don’t fret. I will update you tblog-ites about my adventures from today, on the morrow.

TRIVIA ALERT! Rob Morrow, the actor from Northern Exposure and Numbers, named his daughter Tu–as in “the sun will come out Tu Morrow”.😃

 

The other IZOD argyles had a little send-off for that bloody St. Paddy’s Day Tie o’ the Week. We all ate funeral potatoes and drank Mormon, 7-Up punch.😄😅😁😃😂

I love that green argyle tie. It has been a good sport. And geez, that spunky trouper/trooper has endurance, don’t it? But it’s going to the bottom of the tie rack for a bloody long leave-of-absence. Thank you all for your patience with the week-long gimmick. Someday, we will laugh about all this.

 

Day Seven! Shirt #1. A Bugatchi.

I had reached my top nerve! But I didn’t throw in the beach towel. I found a solution that weighs a bit heavier around my neck. But it’s worth it. The second Tie o’ the Day is a paisley Dockers. I know you are wondering why I didn’t choose another green tie to go with The Tie o’ the Week argyle IZOD, but I needed a short break from the color as well.

I’m learning to tblog from my nook today. Thank you, Suzanne, for giving me another birthday present of setting up all this tblog site stuff on the nook for me, so I can tblog from anywhere I be–without lugging our desktop computer everywhere I travel. Suzanne also told me to get a laptop, so any store that sells Macs better get ready for our purchasing power.😃

I’m headed down to Deltabama this afternoon. And the plan is to bring Mom up north with me for a few days when I come back up. Mercedes is cleaning her genealogy stuff out of Mom’s room at P-view, as we speak. I’m sure a fun time will be had by all, as Aunt Molly used to write at the end of her Oak City column which appeared in The Chronicle every week–before privacy was invented.😉

Tie o’ the Week 🤢. Day Six, #2.

Tonight I will be eating my birthday dinner at Chez Suzanne, at our Townhouse By The Church. She asked where I wanted to go out to eat for the occasion. Since she can find a dish that conforms to her diet ONLY at Applebee’s, she is sick of that being our go-to, eat-out restaurant. I know she would have agreed to dine anywhere I picked, cuz it’s my speshul day. And I didn’t want to inflict Applebee’s on her again. Instead, I have inflicted upon her the duty of preparing my birthday dinner. No surprise what I asked for: Suzanne’s salmon. Best. Ever.

I have no problem with the idea of turning 53. I still feel 17, attitude-wise. A much wiser 17, for sure. My body, however, does in fact feel 53. A couple of years ago I noticed that my face looked a bit older than I actually am. Suzanne had noticed it too. We had a “conference at the mound”, and decided that the extra wrinkles are due to my grimacing through Hanky Panky pain for the last 18 years, including in my sleep. I’m confident that ‘splains it perfectly, Lucy.

I’ve always said I wanted to have a sort of Georgia O’ Keefe-esque, chiseled face by the time I die. You know what I mean: Wrinkles and lines that basically map out your life on your face. I just didn’t think it would happen quite this soon. But I’d happily have a birthday every week, if I got Suzanne-baked salmon out of it.

Tie o’ the Week went with us to H and R Block to last night to help us get our taxes done. All went dandy. But it annoys the Heck Tate out of me that we always have to pay state taxes, no matter how bigly our federal refund might be. Do not misunderstand me: I do not begrudge paying taxes. I learned decades ago the truth of what Dad always told me about paying taxes: We get more out of a tax dollar than out of any dollar we spend otherwise. But come on, Utah. Get your tax code together!

According to both state and federal tax laws, I cannot claim my neckwear as dependents; but they are always welcome to live with us. They are every bit as much a part of our family as our mutts.  You should see our Homely Family Evenings!

In fact, Suzanne and I have even considered not selling the Beach House, for the sole purpose of using it to house ALL my ties and bow ties. They could enjoy the place the way we used to, right down to spending time on the porch. And they would feel comfortable enough to be outside to do the yard work that desperately needs to be done. Nobody is angry enough at them to put them in danger. On the other hand, if the house went up in flames, they would be trapped. It’s a big decision for us.

The above shirt is from our trip to Disneyworld back in 2004. The “Grumpy” name tag expresses my current, Day Six feeling about this foray into Tie o’ the Week. You can bet I will not attempt this again. Even Mercedes has made known her boredom with days of looking at the same tie. I’m relieved to know it’s not just me dealing with such impatience.

I am so bloody tired of this purty Tie o’ the Week!

Thursday, Day Five, Shirt #2. A CHAPS design again, as well. Will this tie horror ever end? It’s like the movie Groundhog Day, but with neckwear. Sing it with me, people: “I got you, tie.”

Suzanne says no one will fault me if I cease this particular tblog fashion experiment. But I told you I was going to do it, and so I will see it through to its completion. Call me Horton! “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. A tie tblogger’s faithful one-hundred percent.”

I do think the experiment has been successful in proving the point that a single tie has the ability to create a variety of splendid clashes. But I’m still anxiously engaged in counting down the days. Can’t wait until Sunday morning’s Church Bow Tie!