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Liquor Stores Can Be Fun

Suzanne has an annual get-together with her Champagne Garden Club gals later this week, so we had to take a jaunt to gather plenty of champagne for their retreat. We had never been to the new state liquor store in Farmington before, so off we flew to see what it was like. The new liquor store is so shiny and pristine that I swear it still has that new car smell to it.

While Suzanne made her potation selections, I amused myself by finding a theme to follow as I wandered the aisles. As a daughter of St. Ron, The Beekeeper, I decided to sniff out honey. After my research, I can attest it is a verifiable fact that current vintners and brewers are using more honey in their new-fangled concoctions than ever before. I was finding honey used as an exotic ingredient in almost every ilk of alcoholic beverage in the liquor store. Honey is trending right now.

Bow Tie o’ the Day and I settled most of our liquor store selfies on various offerings of honey-imbued whiskey. Y’all can see honey whiskeys in the first three pix of this post. But wait! I also found a couple of peanut butter-flavored whiskeys. Y’all can see the PB whiskeys in the last two shots.

If you put those two flavors of whiskey together with a fine red wine (the jelly) and a heavily yeasty brewski (the bread), you’ve got the alcohol version of a PB and J w/ H sandwich. 🥜🍯🍇🍞

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The 4th Is Today, Even Though It Was Also Yesterday

Since the 4th of July falls on a Sunday this year, many Utah celebrations happened yesterday on the 3rd. I’m flexible about such things, but in my deep heart, I would much rather honor bigly, date-specific holidays on their actual dates. But like I said, I’m ultimately easily bendy about the whole scheduling of official holiday observances—which is a good thing, because nobody listens to me about it anyway.

We, here at TIE O’ THE DAY, are blessed and proud to add our voices to the Birthday Greetings heard around the world, in honor of our country’s existential and political independence. I am humbled on this day, every year. I am humbled because I know my citizenship here is a matter of nothing more than luck. I did absolutely nothing to earn the rights and responsibilities that belong to me as an American citizen: I merely happened to be born on this soil—into freedom and safety. I see it as one of my life’s jobs to add positive pieces to the America which I inherited simply by being born in it one day in 1964. I want to improve it, to nurture its ideals. My little contribution is so small. So is yours, probably. But added together, our little works can make ringing and lasting statements—giving lifeblood to an ever-living, ever-changing home called the USA. Like my Delta Elementary School librarian, Mrs. Crafts, always said as she greeted our classes in the hall before we could enter the library, “Leave this place better than you found it.” Today—while considering my love for my country—I wholeheartedly second that admonition.

Suave Skitter chose a perfect tie for the 4th.
What we saw from our bedroom deck.

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Got Spit?

Suzanne and I decided to see what our DNA might tell us about ourselves. I have occasionally wondered what fascinating things my DNA could tell me that I don’t already know about my physical self. I can’t imagine what things they might be, but I’m always up for learning more about everything and everybody, including myself sometimes.

Let me be honest here: I am up for learning about ALMOST everything. Take soccer, for example. I am not now—nor have I ever been—one smidgen bit interested in soccer, and I’m positive I won’t ever care to be interested in soccer. I would rather watch more exciting happenings, like the proverbial paint drying—or soil erosion.

Anyhoo… Suzanne and I each spent a few minutes yesterday spitting our DNA into individual tubes. I initially thought of taking TIE O’ THE DAY photos of our spittin’-in-a-test-tube scene. But even I got oogy at the thought of seeing photographic evidence of that. Instead, I’m simply regaling you with the fact that we did it.

Today, stars-and-stripes Bow Tie o’ the Day and I mailed off the tiny tubes o’ spittle for genetic testing. I am certain that my DNA will not reveal the existence of any bigly family secrets about my parentage. I happen to resemble my parents oh-so very remarkably. I am, in fact, somehow the spittin’ (pun intended) image of both of my soon-to-be-scientifically-proven parents, simultaneously. I am certainly hoping my genetic code might reveal something about the sustainability of my Cranky Hanky Panky, or any other mutant organs or systems which possibly inhabit my body. Of course, I will keep y’all updated on the good, the bad, and any ugly the tests say my DNA contains. It’s what I do.

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My Patriotic Pooch

With no prompting from me, the inimitable Skitter went up into the Tie Room today and came out with her fave 4th of July prop: a painted wood Bow Tie o’ the Day. Around these parts, we wholeheartedly get into the spirit of whatever holiday is upon us. And, thankfully, there is always another holiday just around time’s corner.

BTW In case you can’t tell, I enjoy catching Skitter in mid-yawn for photos.

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On The Last Day Of June

June is over, almost. On this final day of PRIDE Month, I must display my grandmother, Zola Wright’s colorful handiwork. She made this humongous rainbow afghan many decades ago. I like to think she made it just for me. I’m wearing her rainbow caftan, as well. The rainbow scrub cap and Bow Tie o’ the Day are my contribution, of course. Until next year, Merry PRIDE Month to y’all!

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A Day At The Hospital. Again.

I tried to play my cards right. I figured a king card Bow Tie o’ the Day might be enough to win the Battle o’ My Pancreas. I spent yesterday having a follow-up ERCP procedure to see if the lithotripsy had pulverized the pancreatic boulder currently blocking my pancreatic duct. It was clear that the lithotripsy had failed to break the calcified thing. The ERCP doc attempted once again to remove it with the scope-claw gadget, but couldn’t even get close to it. What’s left of my Hanky Panky after my Whipple surgery three years ago is highly unusual, to say the least. Its duct is apparently impossible to navigate with even an endoscope.

Surgery is likely the only option I have left. I predicted at the outset—way back in February—that it would most likely turn out this way, but we had to try the least disruptive options first. Well, here we are. And I ain’t happy about it. Not one bit.

My Hanky Panky surgeon retired last week, so I have to set up an appointment to meet the surgeon he handed me over to. Perhaps she will have other options for me. I hope so, but I doubt it. I’ve seen enough doctors in my day to be able to read between the lines of what they actually say with their words, and through this whole process, what they’ve been saying is “You’re probably gonna need surgery.”

What can I say? I’m a rather healthy 57, other than having a Cranky Hanky Panky. I really can’t complain. I’m getting older. It’s just life. Stuff happens, and then you deal with it the best way you can. Might as well make people smile by wearing a novelty Bow Tie o’ the Day to your ERCP—and everywhere else you go. It works for me.

I wasn’t the only thing being worked on in Endoscopy.
My trusty sidekick took the day off work to chauffeur me, so I didn’t drive after anesthesia.
Surgery is probably the only option left. I ain’t happy about it.
I wish we were leaving the Hospitals On The Hill for the last time.
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Day #7 With My Madras Shorts

I must confess something: One of the bigly pandemic changes I like is virtual church. I hope that’s a change that’s permanent. I never have to miss a Sunday. I can wear my Church Bow Tie o’ the Sabbath right there on my couch.

When attending church in person, I normally have to do a lot of toning down my attire—in order to not distract worshippers from the services. When I watch the services on my laptop, I don’t have to hold back my clothing choices at all. However, even though nobody’s around to see me watch church, I do believe in gussying up for the virtual event. One must make it special in some way. One must set the mood. Mom always wears earrings to just about any event, so I wear earrings to virtual church—with a cadre of lapel pins, pocket squares, and cufflinks. (Note: I’m wearing my CTR lapel pin here.)

As for my madras shorts, I won’t be wearing them soon. They are fun, but I’m tired of looking at them. I will wash them, fold them, and put them on the very bottom of my shorts stack. I cannot stand to wear the same exact outfit more than once a year, if ever. This last week has been difficult for me, because of that. Nevertheless, I survived, and I am a better woman for it.

BTW Skitter’s wearing her music tie because she likes to howl along with the virtual hymns.

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Day #6 In My Madras Shorts: A Tyvek Suit

I’m glad the pandemic panic is slowly winding down. I’m gladdest to know that if the dang thing lingers and powers back up, I can simply slip into my Tyvek suit and pull on my madras shorts—adding a Tie o’ the Day, of course. While being safe, I can still be as stylin’ as ever.

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Day #5 In My Madras Shorts

Bat signal Bow Tie o’ the Day seemed an appropriate piece of neckwear to be the cherry on top of my Superman tank and my Suzanne-made harlequin cape—along with my madras shorts. My cow Sloggers boots are deceptively fast. Even as an old broad, I can run fast enough in them to cause my cape to fly. If you put together a truly fantastic outfit, you’ll be amazed at the powers you can utilize. I learned this fact one morning when I was 12, when I woke up late for softball practice. Practice was at 8, and I woke up at 8:07. I scurried to get dressed and grab my mitt. On the way out of the front door, I was putting an old, broken set of spurs on my tennis shoes—just for the style of it. Spurs on, I jumped on my bike with all my fashion superpowers, pedaling so fast to the softball field that I was able to get there at 7:59. I kid you not.

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Day #4 Of My Madras Shorts

Tie o’ the Day pops out from the otherwise bright colors I’m wearing. I don’t know if this pose says I’m ready to run, fight, or wrestle. But I am ready for whatever approaches. Here’s another fashion hint for y’all: A tie-dyed t-shirt is never out of style. A tie-dyed t-shirt exudes cosmic good vibrations, and evokes a soundtrack of songs like “California Dreamin’,” “Don’t You Want Somebody To Love?,” and “Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.” Now, that’s a dandy soundtrack to have stuck in your head. The late-60’s are not dead, as long as we can hear that music. Personally, I think every summer should be the Summer of Love. I also say that cowboy boots are a must. Keep on truckin,’ and peace out. ✌️